'Are you in a relationship with a "wife guy"? I hope not.'

There's a very specific kind of man on the internet. He's not just in a relationship — he's in a relationship™.

His Instagram bio reads "Happily married 🔒" and every third Instagram post is a tribute to his impossibly hot girlfriend or wife, usually wearing a bikini, with a caption like "How did I get so lucky? 😍 #blessed #myforever."

He is the "wife guy".

The term has been around for a while thanks to Amanda Hess's 2019 New York Times piece, where she describes the wife guy as a man who "defines himself through a kind of overreaction to being married."

He isn't just in love, he's crafting a whole personal brand around it.

The "wife guy" doesn't actually need to be married. He could be a boyfriend, a fiancé, or just someone dating a woman.

The OG "wife guy" is Robbie Tripp AKA the "curvy wife guy". He went viral in 2017 for writing a now-infamous Instagram post praising his wife's body. He said it was body-positive, while the rest of us read it as a thinly veiled self-congratulation for loving a woman with hips.

It (unfortunately) doesn't end there.

Watch: The 'wife guy': Wholesome or red flag? Post continues below.

He then parlayed that moment into brand deals, a rap career, and the release of a music video for his hit song Chubby sexy.

Since then, the genre has expanded. There's the "cliff wife guy" who filmed his partner falling off a (very small) ledge in Hawaii.

There are celeb wife guys like Ryan Reynolds, whose personality seems to start and end with "husband of Blake Lively." Or, Brooklyn Peltz Beckham, who has literally tattooed aspects of his wife, Nicola Peltz, on his body.

And of course, there's the cautionary tale of Ned Fulmer from The Try Guys, the man who made "My wife!" his entire brand until he allegedly got caught cheating with a colleague.

Why We're Suspicious.

At first glance, the wife guy might seem like progress. A man who posts about his love, a man who shouts out his partner online, a man who has learnt the phrase "slay queen" and confidently uses it in his Instagram captions.

However, there's a difference between being loving and being performative.

Because a man who turns his relationship into content and builds his persona — and, at times, his income — around it, starts to look more like a strategist than a romantic. It's not love, it's optics. It's not a celebration, it's a campaign.

We're not just being cynical, it's what we've seen before and gotten accustomed to. The louder the wife guy is online, the more likely the behind-the-scenes story makes us wince.

Real love doesn't usually come with a multi-slide carousel.

What's the opposite of the "wife guy"?

Now here's the kicker; there's no such thing as a "husband girl". Not because she doesn't exist, but because every woman is one by default.

Women have always been expected to centre their lives, Instagram feeds, and personalities around their relationships. Their pinned post on Instagram is either their engagement shoot, their wedding photos, or their couple trip to Europe with the caption, "seeing the world with my partner in crime and in life."

Their anniversary captions are earnest and glowing. Their stories are full of "Him ❤️."

No one blinks. No one mocks.

But when a man does it? He's either applauded as emotionally evolved ("he's not afraid to show love!") or side-eyed as if he's hiding something ("he's overcompensating…").

That dual reaction is what makes the wife guy so interesting. He's walking a tightrope between sincerity and cringe.

The problem with wife guys

As Jeremy Gordon wrote in The Atlantic, "Love contains something internal and unmeasurable that can be weighed only in private, not presented for others to observe." That's the core of the discomfort.

If you have to convince me of how in love you are, especially through multiple, highly stylised bikini photos and extended captions about gratitude, I probably won't believe you. Because I'm not in it. You are.

Listen to the author of this piece discuss the "wife guy" on the Mamamia Out Loud podcast. Post continues below.

And look, maybe we're all just a little jaded. Maybe social media has made it impossible to express anything without it getting flattened into a performance. But there's something especially unsettling about turning intimacy into influence.

"Every man in a relationship is expected to be a wife guy now," I said on the Mamamia Out Loud podcast.

"But there's no shame in being a husband girl — because that's the standard for women. We've always been expected to make our relationships our brand."

And maybe that's what irks us most: not the love, but the imbalance. Wife guys get admiration, praise, even brand deals — all for doing the emotional labour women have been doing for free, forever.

So to all the 'wife guys' out there: love your partner. Post your cheesy captions. But if your entire brand hinges on "how lucky" you are, maybe stop and ask why you need us to see it so badly.

If you want more from Emily Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem.

Feature image: Canva.