Engagement party. Bridal shower. Hen’s night. Buck’s night. All fairly standard pre-wedding traditions.
And then there’s the ‘Shadow Wedding’, a new trend designed to set you up for a life of matrimonial bliss. How? By encouraging you and your partner unload all the things you hate about each other, a week before the wedding, in a ceremony in front of your closest friends.
It’s a foolproof plan.
But if you’re still not convinced, here are the basic facts.
The Shadow Wedding is essentially a pre-wedding wedding, designed to be a counterpoint to the “light wedding” (read: the normal, lovely ceremony) a week or so before the big day.
The idea has apparently been around for a while, but has been developed (and commercialised) by husband and wife Jim Benson and Jessica Wolk Benson. The Bensons are both therapists, and before their wedding they wanted to make sure that the aired all their niggling worries about their future – and dealt with the problems head-on with humour.
For example, Jim told Jessica at their Shadow Wedding: “I vow, Jessica, to remain distant and aloof throughout our marriage, preferring that you – as the woman – take your rightful place as the emotional barometer for our relationship. And, in fact, I’m going to ask you to feel all of my unfelt feelings as well as all of your own.”
Jessica vowed to Jim: “I vow to demand that we return every single year to my family for the holidays solely out of obligation; a sense of no choice, no freedom but absolute, complete burden. And I will force you to come with me whether you want to or not.”