'I went on a "mummymoon" and I can’t recommend it enough.’

Like many couples in 2023, my husband and I have created our own playbook by which to live our life. After being together for almost a decade and becoming parents to two young daughters, we decided to get married at the start of this year.

While we’re so far from traditional (see above — first came love, then came the babies… then much further down the track came marriage), there was no way we weren’t going to cash in the honeymoon component of our unholy matrimony. Who doesn’t love an excuse for a holiday?

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But is it even a honeymoon when you’re bringing along your four-year-old and one-year-old? Yeah, not really. It’s just parenting in another location with fancy new jewellery on your fingers. So we went on a honeymoon with a few major tweaks. The first being that we would have a few hours of reprieve each day thanks to the brilliant nanny we had helping us with the girls. 

The second was the people we chose to go away with.

We all know what a honeymoon is – but have you heard of the 'mummymoon’? No?

Well, I may have just coined the term after going on my honeymoon with my new husband… and one of my best mates, her husband, plus all of our children, and I think I’ve cracked the code to a new kind of amazing holiday for newly married people with kids.

Mums back on top.

As mums, we often put ourselves at the bottom of the priority list, but when you go away with a like-minded bestie, you’d be surprised at how quickly that flips and you get to actually relax and do all the things that fill your cup, without the super serving of guilt.

Having someone there to talk you out of the mum guilt spiral and encourage you to go for that nap, buy that top, get that cocktail, means you acclimatise to rancho relaxo holiday mode way quicker than if they weren’t there. Don’t get me wrong, my partner is the first person to encourage me to do these things too, but when you’re also away with a dear friend, it’s like having your very own hype girl by your side.

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On my mummymoon to Bali, my mate and I had daily massages, lunch dates, and shopping escapades, before regrouping with our respective families. Having someone there who enjoyed these forms of self-care as much as I did was exhilarating! Of course, I still spent quality alone time with my husband and kids as well but after almost 10 years together, we’re all for going away with other people to freshen up the dynamic. 

It wasn’t until my husband cheekily remarked to my friend and I one morning, “I feel like I’m on your girls’ honeymoon" that we realised what we’d unintentionally orchestrated. A stroke of accidental genius, if you will.

Balancing act.

A mummymoon isn’t just about filling the mum’s cup either. All is fair in love and holidays and we made sure there was an even split of downtime for everyone. 

Our kids spent hours swimming in the pool, monkey spotting, and making up weird and wonderful games together. Our partners enjoyed boys’ lunches and indulged in their own unique ways to unwind. For my husband, that was going surfing, running, and listening to me tell him all about the unforgettable massage I’d just had. 

Different folks, different love language strokes.

It all comes down to the group dynamic.

So what’s the key to pulling off a good mummymoon, you ask?

It all comes down to the vibes of the group. All the adults (and kids, for that matter) have to get on socially in the real world. The last thing you want is two adults stuck together who have nothing in common. That’s going to make it a long week away! All four adults, not just the dominant friends, have to have a genuine bond. I get on really well with my friend’s husband (in a platonic, non-swingy way, promise), and my husband and my friend also have a great rapport.

Likewise for the little ones. And thankfully, the way we all met back home was actually through our daughters, who are daycare besties. Another lovely yet unexpected thing was watching new bonds between the kids unfold as well. Our youngest loved playing with the older girls and her vocabulary soared as she tried to keep up with them. Plus, having our friend’s daughter away with us meant our kids didn’t fight anywhere as much as they would if it was just the two of them. What a win!  

Another unexpected yet heartwarming aspect of this setup was seeing our kids form special relationships with the grown-ups. Sure, we hang out in Sydney, but never in such an intimate setting that going away with another family affords.

It was so touching to see my youngest daughter fall in love with my girlfriend and stick to her like Velcro, while I got to spend quality time with her daughter, too. Having four parents on hand also meant that there were four people to try to diffuse meltdowns and tanties. My eldest daughter would often ignore my requests to do something but would do it in a flash if our friends asked her.

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Everyone needs space.

Is there anything more annoying than going on a holiday with other people who don’t understand the concept of alone time? 

Sure, it’s great to do things together, but it’s equally as important to be able to peel off from the larger group to do your own thing without feeling bad about it. So when organising your mummymoon, I'd suggest that you must go away with people who aren’t going to be too in your pockets 24/7, and who crave as much alone time as you do. When we all came together for family dinners at the end of each day, we each had something new to share thanks to separating to do our own things.

I get that this style of holiday won’t be everybody’s cup of tea. But if you’re a recently hitched parent and up for some non-traditional travel, I can’t recommend it enough. You’ll walk away from the experience feeling closer to your partner and pals than ever before!

Bella Brennan is a Sydney-based writer and editor. You can find out more about her here.

Feature image: Supplied.