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When I was 16 years old, I had the gall to stroll into the house at 2 am.
I'd wrapped up a late shift at work and had stayed back to hang out with my fast-food colleagues and help clean up for a big event the next day.
Afterwards, an older boy I'd made friends with drove me home. I'd texted my mum at 11 pm and told her not to wait up. I ignored all 23 calls from her and pushed away the impending doom I'd felt at the base of my stomach.
When I shut the front door behind me, my mum was sitting on the stairs in her nightgown, left eye twitching.
What happened afterwards is something I'm not at liberty to discuss.
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My mum has never been the cool mum — and she's never wanted to be.
In fact, she's taken pride in yelling at me in front of my friends (it's still embarrassing to think about), holding my hand while we walked into school together (eugh), confronting teachers when she disagreed with their methods (gah) and picking on me to be better, better, better — always better.
Her expectations of me have been higher than I've been able to meet and for most of my childhood, I resented her for it.
The parties were never at my house. I was terrified to try alcohol in case she smelt it on my breath. I shied away from taking my friend's cigarettes or marijuana at a gathering.