The dark side of dating an athlete that will change how you see 'WAGs' forever.

When Bec Judd and Nadia Bartel graced the covers of glossy magazines in the 2000s, they became the 'It girls' of Australian media.

As partners to AFL stars Chris Judd and Jimmy Bartel, they were two of Australia's most well-known WAGs (Wives and Girlfriends), with their public identities closely tied to the athletes they loved.

The term 'WAG' itself, popularised by British tabloids, conjured images of glamour, luxury, and front-row seats at games. Even Victoria Beckham, a Spice Girl and one of the biggest pop stars of her era, was often reduced to a single label: the WAG of David Beckham.

"I feel a lot of young girls idolise this reality of dating a professional athlete, because when you look back to the Beckham era, it was designer handbags, and all these hot, glorified women," Paris Tier, partner of AFL's Conor Stone, told Mamamia.

But this glossy image of WAGs had a darker undercurrent, with words like 'greedy', 'vacuous', and 'lazy' being thrown around.

"There is a negative connotation around the stereotype of what a WAG is," Chloe Pink, partner of AFL player Toby Pink, told Mamamia.

"Money and greed are the two things people think of when they think of a WAG, and they're not good things," Paris added.

Watch one of Kate's TikTok videos here. Post conmtinues below.

Tiff Wood, married to former AFL player Easton Wood, has felt the weight of these judgments first-hand.

"I had kids close together and the trolling was like, 'She doesn't work. What a mooch'. Then I grew my business and it turned into, 'You should be home with your kids. You're obviously distracted'. You get to the point where you're like, 'I can't win here'."

According to these women, to be a WAG is to walk a tightrope. Be ambitious, but not so ambitious you neglect your family. Support your husband's career, but don't complain about what that costs you. Be glamorous, but don't show off.

Above all, you're expected to look flawless, because God forbid a professional athlete dates someone who doesn't fit society's impossible beauty standard.

The judgments that once came from the pages of magazines and whispers at games now flood in through Instagram comments, TikTok videos, and endless social media forums. The commentary is constant, cruel, and deeply personal.

"Can't believe a professional athlete would settle for a 4/10", "Poor guy", "How'd she manage that?".

For the new generation of WAGs, this is the new frontier of abuse.

"It's so bad at the moment; the worst it has ever been," Paris told Mamamia. "I started posting on TikTok a year ago, when I had under 2,000 followers, and it started straight away. To me, it's fascinating how somebody can hate me so much and not know my middle name."

Chloe Pink knows this feeling all too well. When she married Toby in March this year, she expected messages of congratulations. The reality was far from it.

"On my wedding day, I felt beautiful, and I didn't even question the photos or how I looked," Chloe told Mamamia. "I was a bit naive."

The comments, instead, were "vile", criticising the bride's appearance and questioning why Toby would choose to marry her.

"I wouldn't even want to repeat it," said the 25-year-old. "I would be so embarrassed if anyone in my life would ever think to say something like that."

"I wouldn't even want to repeat it," Chloe said of the hate. Image: Instagram/@chloepink__

Kate Stobbs, partner of the NRL player Pasami Saulo, has copped similar abuse online.

"A TikTok video of mine got four million views, and the comments on there were all targeted towards my physical appearance. My size compared to my partner," Kate told Mamamia.

"My looks as well, but it was mainly about the weight difference between Sami and I. I received a comment that was based around, 'He can do so much better'."

The abuse Tiff received was so bad that she's had her Instagram set to 'private' for the last three years or so.

"A lot [of comments] were about my appearance, that I wasn't good enough for him, and also stuff that was really disturbing. It just got worse and worse," she said.

Things came to a head when Tiff attended the Brownlows, an annual AFL awards ceremony.

"I had a few messages of people being like, 'Oh, you look like a man'. 'Imagine being a player and dating her'. Just really appearance-based insults. I've never been a size six. I never will be. It's not in my body composition."

In an effort to manage the hate, Chloe has blocked certain words from appearing in her comments. But that means the nasty remarks the public sees are just a fraction of what she actually receives.

"On TikTok I have my comments reviewed, I have certain words like 'fat' reviewed. So there's hundreds of hate comments that go to my reviewed, which obviously I'm not approving, or I'm trying not to read."

As the noise grows louder, it becomes harder to tune out.

"I don't think too much of it when I'm reading one or two comments, but at the end of a hard week, it consumes me, and it really, really affects my mental health," said Chloe.

"I imagine that that's 100, 300, 500 people standing in a room, saying that to me."

No matter how thick your skin is, the constant barrage eventually gets under it and takes its toll.

"It got to the point — and I'm sure a lot of the girls can vouch for it — you obviously get all these hate comments of people saying you're a loser and this and that, and you slowly start to believe them," said Paris.

"I was like 'Oh my gosh, this person thinks this about me and the comment got a thousand likes, so a thousand people think that of me'. Even though it's buried between lovely comments, you obviously do get affected by those, as much as you say you don't. They're brutal."

Since being "fat-shamed" online, Paris has faced body image issues, losing 15 kilograms as a result.

Paris described the hate comments as "brutal". Image: Instagram/@pazlenka

"I'm so determined to please people. It's sickening. I eat healthy and I do healthy things. I'm not doing it in an unhealthy way. But it's a shame that I feel like I have to change my body to meet these media standards."

Tiff has also experienced body image issues, and was diagnosed with an eating disorder two years ago.

"I'm only now understanding and realising what happened through those years, because you are so young and so unaware of the implications. And that's probably the only reason I'm comfortable sharing it, because normally trolls come back again.

"Even when you talk about body dysmorphia, shredding before the Brownlows, the unhealthy eating habits that encourage you to drop radical amounts of weight to fit sample size dresses, and stylists not working with you because you're not a size zero."

The harassment goes far beyond comments about their bodies.

It spills into threats, harassment, and intimidation that invade every part of their lives.

"I've had the police called on me. I own a tequila company and I've had to shut down the website until we launch now because I had people get my number and consistently prank call me and scam me," Paris said.

"I had a person call me and tell me that they were outside the front of my house and that Conor couldn't protect me because he was in a different state, and all of these horrific things."

Tiff has received similarly threatening messages.

"I had comments like, 'I saw Easton out tonight. I chased him down; you better watch your man'. That seemed really threatening. I was only in my late 20s at the time."

It rattled her, which led to paranoia.

"I was like, 'What the f**k. Where were you?' to Easton. And he's like, 'I was literally next to you in bed; we live together'. But you send yourself kind of crazy."

While Tiff has taken her life offline, other WAGs remain public. But, Chloe confesses she has thought about leaving the spotlight.

"Some days I'm like, 'Can I do this? I don't know if it's worth my mental health'. People will be like, 'Just delete your social media'. And I could do that, but I enjoy it, and then they're winning if I just deactivate my account or don't post."

Paris has a similar mentality.

"I know people say, 'Just block and move on', but to me, I feel like then they win. So I try to just ignore it and keep going."

Kate, meanwhile, lives by the saying, "If you don't laugh, you'll cry."

Kate believes "if you don't laugh, you'll cry". Image: Instagram/@katestobbs

"I think it's actually made me post more. As soon as I started to see the comments, I was like, 'You know what? I'm going to get a positive out of this, and I'm going to create awareness around it.'

"I always will try to find a way to leverage off it. I'm here to stay positive and create awareness. If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So if you're gonna say those things, I'm gonna find a way to get something out of it."

As for their partners, the professional athletes are used to the field, but watching this abuse from the sidelines has been an adjustment.

"It's not nice for him to see," Chloe said of her partner, Toby. "He struggles seeing me down. I think initially he was in shock. Now he sees how it affects my mental health. And so then that has an impact on him.

"No one wants the love of their life to ever be spoken to like that, or to ever be bullied. At the end of the day, he's the one who's coming home to me crying on the couch."

Some trolls even claim to be "looking out" for Toby, but they don't see how deeply their words cut.

"There are comments like, 'Poor him'. And it's like, 'Well, no, if you actually supported him, you wouldn't say that about the love of his life'. All these trolls think that they're looking out for him, but they're disrespecting him. If you went up to him and said that to his face, I can guarantee he's not going to be your friend."

Kate's partner Pasami has been equally shocked by the hate, but has remained "incredibly supportive" of his fiancée.

"He's quite private on his socials; I find he doesn't post a lot anyway. That's just his nature. But he always reminds me to stay true to myself. He encourages me and always reminds me of my value."

Conor rarely uses social media himself, and is still figuring out how to navigate the hate Paris receives.

"We're in a generation where this isn't something people know how to cope with," Paris said. "This isn't something you can talk to your therapist about, because your therapist doesn't know how to deal with this.

"Conor does the best he can. He doesn't tend to read the hate comments. But he encourages me to always put my phone down and set boundaries."

So, what is the solution?

Should male athletes speak up? Should sporting organisations step in? Should regulators take action?

The unfortunate reality is that, while people tend to take men more seriously when they speak up, many male athletes choose to stay silent.

"Men are so nervous to speak out about it, which is unfortunate," said Chloe.

It's a sentiment Kate shares, having seen how quickly people listen when men add their voices.

"Men are so nervous to speak out about it," Chloe said of the hate. Image: Instagram/@chloepink_

"Whenever men do speak up, people do listen, and it does bring more attention, it does shift the conversation and give a new perspective," added Kate.

At the same time, she sees the "power in women taking up space, speaking up for themselves, and getting behind each other as well".

For Paris, "there needs to be a support system in place for family".

"Mental health impacts the players. So it's, 'If I'm s**t, Connor's going to be s**t'."

Chloe credits Toby's club, North Melbourne, for stepping up.

"They've been with us every step of the way. They're always checking in."

The bottom line is clear: something needs to change.

"It's fascinating to see the lack of accountability from governing bodies to protect people on social media," said Tiff. "I do think that some law will need to come into play sooner rather than later."

In 2021, Australia introduced the Online Safety Act, giving regulators the power to investigate and remove severe online abuse. Earlier this year, an independent review recommended strengthening these laws further, including a digital duty of care and tougher penalties for platforms that fail to act.

The government has committed to introducing a digital duty of care, but there is still no timeline for when further protections will be implemented.

Despite promises from the government, many WAGs feel that real change is still a long way off. And as Chloe told us, silence is permission.

"Trolling WAGs has gone on so long because everyone just accepts it," she said. "I say silence is permission. If we keep staying silent and allowing these people to say these things about us, thinking we need to have thick skin, or ignore it, they will think it's part of [being a WAG]. It's not. It's not okay."

Feature Image: Instagram/@chloepink__/@pazlenka/@katestobbs

Calling all Australians aged 18+, got 5 minutes to spare? We want to hear what you think! Complete our survey for a chance to win a $50 gift voucher.

TAKE SURVEY ➤