'I do mortuary makeup for the deceased. These are the questions everyone asks me.'

Content warning: This post includes discussion of suicide that may be distressing to some readers.

When I say the word 'mortician' what comes to mind?

Perhaps a dimly lit medical room located in the depths of the morgue, with a cold, steel embalming table located in the centre. Maybe you immediately think of the mortician themselves - more often than not it's a man, and someone who is fascinated with death and dying.

For Monica Torres, she doesn't exactly fit the stereotype that looms in people's minds about morticians. 

For one, she's a woman who has made waves in the industry, paving the way for other females to join the world of caring for the dead. 

Monica is also someone who is intrigued by all things death, so perhaps she fits one of the stereotypes. She loves to visit and tour cemeteries. She loves black cats. She also sells socks that have little skull motifs on them.

But Monica is anything but 'sullen' or 'spooky'. 

She's a person who radiates warmth, regularly wears hot pink scrubs, has a killer makeup routine, and willingly shares the ins and outs of her incredible job with anyone who is interested. And I just happen to be one of those people who is intensely keen to peek behind the mortician's curtain and see what it's really like to work among the deceased.

***

14 years ago, Monica began her journey to care for the dead and comfort the grieving. 

"I was tired of living an ordinary life. I began asking myself, 'Is this all there is?' I wanted a career and life experience which was remarkable and extraordinary," Monica said to Mamamia.

No day looks the same for Monica, who resides in Arizona and is the founder and owner of NXT Generation Mortuary Support. She's a leader in body preparation of deceased human remains, as well as liaising with death care professionals and funeral homes to empower families on the path toward healing. 

Starting her own business was a challenge in itself, but it was something that Monica was determined to do - to work on her terms and innovate the industry.

"I wanted to go all in on my dreams. I was tired of trying to impress bosses I knew had no vested interest in my future, and I knew I could get more enjoyment out of life by working to impress myself and being my own boss," she explained.

A big portion of Monica's work is embalming - a fascinating practice that is both an art and science.

Monica doing her embalming work, and one of the common prep rooms morticians use to embalm and care for the deceased. Image: Instagram @coldhandshots.

First, it starts with disinfecting the body. Second is the preservation of viable tissues. Third is the restoration of compromised tissues and fourth is the rejuvenation of the deceased's recognisable features. 

As Monica put it: "Embalming allows bereaved families precious time by halting the ravaging effects of natural decomposition."

Since embalming is a highly specialised postmortem surgical and cosmetic elective procedure, it takes lots of skill, chemicals, surgical tools and a preparation lab to get the job done. With this in mind, to book Monica's services, the price can range from $150 to over $10,000 depending on the needs of the corpse and the family involved.

For Monica, her services have always been founded on the beautiful restoration of the dead. It's a concept few morticians before have had front of mind. Monica knows the power of desairology - a term used to describe the practices of funeral cosmetology and mortuary makeup. Because it's not just makeup. It's a restorative art form.

"My services reflect the evolution of science-based embalming theory to a beauty and art-based philosophy that allows families the opportunity to finally view their beloved the way they remember them."

As for mortuary makeup, it isn't quite what you would expect. Because professional makeup artistry is very different on the dead than it is on the living, Monica noted. The products are different, so is the prep, and so is the end goal. 

There are even brands now that specialise in funeral makeup, as most mortuary cosmeticians prefer to use non-thermogenic products, which blend easier on ice-cold surfaces.

"Lolaseven mortuary makeup is by far my favourite cosmetic for use on the dead but I use a variety of products. I do prefer to use quality professional-grade hair products especially shampoo and conditioner. Embalming fluid coagulates proteins in the hair making hair feel coarse and dry," Monica said to Mamamia. 

"But I don't wash the hair at the beginning of the embalming process. Instead, I wash the hair of the dead at the end of my embalming treatment as to avoid saturating the hair with embalming fluid runoff."

Monica Torres with some of her embalming 'tools of the trade'. Image: Instagram @coldhandshots.

The purpose of mortuary makeup is for the family of the deceased to see their passed loved one look as much like themselves as possible before they say their final goodbye. 

And to do this, Monica regularly consults with the family, seeing what that person used to wear or how they did their makeup for inspiration.

"The most impactful part of my job is creating an experience for the family where they feel as if the deceased has been completely cared for - including details such as getting a part in the hair right or applying cosmetics in the unique way the deceased used makeup to express themselves in life. I always ask the family for several photos that best represent what they want their loved one to look like. I will also look the deceased up on social media to get a real idea of how they smiled."

And postmortem manicures are also on offer. 

"Just like we use manicures to express ourselves in life it is equally important in death. Hands are the most recognisable feature besides the face and it is important that I get the appearance of the hands just right," she explained.

But of course, a mortician's job is far more than just desairology. Monica is also a qualified Postmortem Reconstructive Specialist and Embalming Technical Trainer. And sadly in a lot of the deaths that Monica has been privy to, her reconstructive specialist skills have been necessary.

"Cranio/facial reconstructive surgery can be implemented for many types of trauma-related and unfortunate, tragic deaths such as a motor vehicle accident, blunt force trauma, work-related accidents, farm accidents, falls, gunshot wounds and more."

In Monica's experience, she has reconstructed many skulls of unfortunate victims, most often related to self-inflicted gunshot wounds or car accidents.

"When my best friend died by suicide and succumbed to wounds self-inflicted by an entry wound through her mouth, I was able to reconstruct her mandible and maxilla so she could be viewed as her beautiful self for her husband."

It's traumatic cases like these that have stuck with Monica. And how could they not? 

But when you are surrounded by death so often, Monica said it does change your perspective on mortality. And for her, the prep room is a sacred place - a space where her embalming gives bereaved loved ones the gift of time and the opportunity to process their loss.

Monica Torres loves doing what she does. She is pictured here at a cemetery, and also an example of the mortuary manicure work she does. The family of the deceased has given permission for this image to be used. Image: Instagram @coldhandshots.

"My job has taught me to be fearless and resilient. It's also taught me to express empathy while remaining professional for the families who need to get through their difficult time. It's also taught me how to control my emotions which I find most valuable," she said. "Death stops for no one."

It's qualities like these - compassion and empathy - that are what any good mortician should have. 

Self-care also plays a big role in ensuring Monica can do the work she does, and decompress after a long day. She loves to meditate, drink coffee with her boyfriend, do an Epsom salt bath a few times a week and have a glass of red wine each day. She adores her dog Cash as well. All of these things bring Monica joy. And given the nature of her job involves a lot of hard work - both physically, mentally, logistically and emotionally - joy is important.

Of course, this "dark art" as Monica puts it does make some people uncomfortable. Perhaps really, they're most uncomfortable with death. Because the most common question Monica receives is how does she do what she does.

"Most people are fascinated and overwhelm me with questions, but there are those poor souls who fear death so much that they think it's contagious and shy away," she said. 

"These people unfortunately miss out on the awesome opportunity to learn about a natural part of life from an experienced professional. Before I became educated and professionally trained to work on the dead I had the same fears as everyone else. Fear of loss, fear of failure. It was fear that held me back from living the life I was intended to live."

Today, Monica lives fearlessly. And that's perhaps the biggest lesson her work has taught her. That life is precious - so take it with both hands and run. 

"I'm unapologetically me and I celebrate life and death and act boldly when making decisions. I love that I get to fulfill my life's purpose each and every day and that my job allows me the opportunity to live an extraordinary life. Because the only way to understand life is to understand death."

You can follow Monica Torres and all her incredible work via her Instagram @coldhandshots, and her business here. 

If you think you may be experiencing depression or another mental health problem, please contact your general practitioner. If you're based in Australia, 24-hour support is available through Lifeline on 13 11 14 or beyondblue on 1300 22 4636.

Feature Image: Instagram @coldhandshosts.