weddings

'I refuse to let my sister have a plus one at my wedding. Now I'm considering uninviting her.'

There's a universal list of wedding etiquette that everyone knows to abide by.

You know — don't wear white, don't cause a ruckus during the ceremony, and absolutely always RSVP in time.

But then there are the brides (and grooms) who operate by their own sets of rules, and they're often quite divisive. One bride has taken to popular Reddit forum AITA (Am I The A**hole) to share her quandary over a wedding guest boundary she has set with her sister.

And, well, it certainly has divided the online community.

The woman began her post by explaining that she would be getting married later in the year. She also prefaced her story by telling readers that she has always had a very normal relationship with her sister.

"Most sisters would know, one day you start fighting because she wore your clothes, and the next day you're having [doughnuts] together, typically sisterly things," she wrote.

She then went on to describe her sister's love life which — according to her — has never been rock solid.

"My sister has always been, to put it frankly, a 'pick me' girl," she wrote. "She has no friends that are women because she says 'she sees them as competition' and she likes to be friends with boys. She will only date rich men, and refuses to settle for less (a little bit to that later). My sister has not had a relationship last longer than two months, and she always has a new guy on her shoulder."

The bride-to-be had these thoughts in mind when she had a conversation with her fiancé about their guest list small.

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"I brought it up to my fiancé (we'll call him Bertram)," she wrote. "I told Bertram that I really did not want a complete stranger in my wedding pictures, and certainly not someone my sister would only have been dating a few weeks, maybe a month."

When it came time to send invitations out the bride-to-be had made her decision: she invited her sister, and didn't give her a plus one.

And... well, keep reading.

"Boy was she upset," wrote the poster.

"She called me and told me that it was not fair that she could not bring a plus one. I mentioned to her that she didn’t have the best track record with men, and that Bertram and I really didn't want some random person nobody would talk about in our wedding pictures."

Watch: Royal Wedding Guest Dos & Don'ts. Story continues below.


Video via Mamamia.

In response to the bride's plus-one conditions, the sister then said she would spend the next few months locking in an official boyfriend to bring along to the wedding. That way he won't necessarily be considered a 'random person'.

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But the bride wasn't too impressed with that suggestion, telling her sister it was highly unlikely she'd be able to lock down a boyfriend in that time frame.

Ouch.

"Now here I might've gotten mean, but I told her I would seriously doubt if she found anyone, given her track record for the absolutely worse men alive," she wrote.

"She got upset, hung up, and said she will be attending my wedding with a boyfriend of four-plus months because she will find one."

It's safe to say the whole interaction got a little ugly and the bride ended her post by asking fellow Redditors if they thinks she's in the wrong — especially now she's considering uninviting her sister altogether.

There were a few people who chimed in agreeing that a person isn't obliged to invite anyone to their wedding they don't want to. "For the last time, for everyone in the back, you don't have to invite anyone to your wedding just because someone expects it," wrote one person. "Just like people are free to take that invitation and respond to it how they see fit."

Another added, "I feel like people tend to forget that plus ones also aren't free, it's your wedding at the end of the day."

And another commenter agreed: "There is never any obligation to offer single people a plus-one to a wedding."

On the other side of the fence there were plenty of people who felt like the poster really didn't treat her sister with kindness in this situation.

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"You come across as very judgey and contemptuous of your sister, and I bet that tone was apparent when you explained to her the rule," wrote one user. "You might win the battle but if you value your sister at all you need to find more respectful, empathetic ways of communicating with her."

Shared another, "Close family always get a plus one, even if it's a friend so they're comfortable and happy. Unless you have about 20 guests, your sister gets a guest," wrote another. "Your writing of this is seriously judgemental. It's not cute or fun. Actually, don't invite her at all, the whole thing sounds insufferable."

Then there was a group of people who were on the fence and said that the rule of not having plus-ones should apply to all guests and not just her sister.

"If you are giving out plus-ones to other people who are coming so that they can bring a date, your sister should have gotten one as well," one person wrote.

"I certainly hope this is a blanket policy you applied across the board rather than singling out your sister," wrote another.

Here's hoping the sisters can make amends before the big day! 

What do you think is the right thing to do when it comes to weddings and plus-ones? Let us know in the comments!

Feature Image: Canva.

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