'My photographer made a comment on my wedding day. It was all I could think about.'

I got married in November. And as someone who is typically very much a control freak (certainly in the lead-up to my wedding day), I was surprisingly relaxed when the day finally came. 

My makeup artist arrived in the morning to start a four-hour session. I slowly started getting ready with my best friends around me. I sipped on a smoothie and ate a bacon and egg roll. Things were looking good. Even the forecast of rain throughout the day didn't seem to phase me.

Despite the occasional hiccup, like a missing pair of shoes or a missed call from the venue coordinator, my otherwise usually anxious mind was as calm as could be. 

That was until my wedding photographer said something that stopped me in my tracks.

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I was sitting on the bed with my friends, all posing for some bridal party photos in our nightgowns. We were laughing, making silly faces and generally, just having a good time. And then the mood very quickly shifted. 

"Be sexy," the photographer said to me. 

Two words I never thought I'd hear on my wedding day from a stranger I had met fifteen minutes prior, particularly not surrounded by my closest friends and family. The room quietened and everyone, my older sister included, looked at me, awkwardly laughing. 

"Be sexier," the photographer said again, gesturing for me to lean back on the bed and strike a pose. 

Mind you, the instruction was only given to me. The other girls were told to smile at me while I attempted the sexiest pose I could come up with under pressure.

Now, while I'm sure the intention was good, the execution and instruction seemed bizarre to me, given the environment.

I looked around, clocking my mum, dad, mother-in-law and grandma through an open door in the other room observing, and immediately felt a wave of embarrassment and sweat starting to drip down my face.

But being the people-pleasing person I sometimes am, I obliged, leaning back and trying to make a 'sexy face' while the girls around me smiled uncomfortably at the camera. 

Then the mood very quickly shifted. Image: Supplied.

"Good?" I said, shrugging off the palpable tension hanging in the room. 

And it was not, evidently, because after several prompts, I was still yet to nail the sultry vibe he was looking for. Then ensued a painful twenty-minute photoshoot where I awkwardly posed, sometimes looking out the window wistfully or staring the camera down with my best blue steel while pinching my palms. 

Let me tell you… there is nothing that kills your confidence more than mustering every magazine cover you have in your memory and doing your best impression of a sexy smile, and then having someone say, "Hmm… okay let's try something else then." 

So, after several more failed attempts, I finally put myself out of my misery and asked to cut the shoot short. 

Now, introverted girlies like myself will understand the sheer agony of the situation. There are few things worse than being asked to pose and execute a 'sexy' look. But it's especially unbearable when the situation is most definitely not sexy. Not even a little bit.

Not to mention, having my family and conservative grandmother only six feet away on a — for the most part — very emotional and wholesome day, made it all the more mortifying. 

Not to mention he spent a lot of the day gesturing and shouting for us to pose during, what should have been, very candid moments.

The introverted girlies will understand the agony of the situation. Image: Supplied.

For me, personally, the last thing I wanted to be doing on my wedding day was feigning sexiness or taking myself too seriously. And while I am certain the photographer meant no harm, I think it is important to, one, read the room, but also the bride.

Not every bride is the same and while this may have encouraged one woman, for me, it was a nightmare. 

Looking back, I should have said something to address my intense discomfort earlier and set a clear boundary on what I wanted out of the day. Because sexy shots it was not.

It took two bridesmaids and a couple of stern reminders but, in the end, it all worked out and the rest of the day required much less effort (and discomfort) from my end. Just candid, real moments to capture the day. 

But as a final PSA to any wedding vendors, I know how much work goes into what you all do. It really is a tough job trying to make the day perfect for the happy couple.

But if I can offer any advice, from an introvert who sometimes has trouble being put on the spot, if she looks uncomfortable, she probably is. And what you might think is a must-have wedding moment, may not be essential for the couple. And at times like this, I promise no amount of the same instruction is going to make the shot right.

To any future brides, a reminder that it is your day. So, if a sexy photoshoot isn't what you want. That is 100 per cent your call.

Feature image: Supplied.