'I'll have perfect hair.' 10 things Virgin River told me will happen if I move to a small town.

Warning: This story contains spoilers for Virgin River. Read at your own risk... of spoilers.

Listen to this story being read by Adrienne Tam, here.

When I inevitably move to a small, yet beautiful town with a name like Virgin River, Serenity, or Bluebell, the following things will happen.

1. I will immediately (likely within the first 10 minutes) meet a ruggedly handsome and kind man who will call me beautiful in our very first conversation and proceed to fall instantly and deeply in love with me.

2. He will have a mysterious, somewhat tragic past and at least one (sort of) ex-girlfriend.

3. I will have a mysterious, somewhat tragic past and at least one dead husband. This dead husband will also be ruggedly handsome and kind, as is obvious from my many, many, many flashbacks.

So many ruggedly handsome men. Image: Virgin River/Netflix. 

4. The small town will have one of everything; one doctor, one bar, one cafe, one church, one town gossip, one mayor, etc. This is THE RULE and it cannot be broken.

5. Everyone will say, "Nothing happens here!" and then really dangerous and outrageous things will happen like criminals kidnapping me, so that I can help their leader who has been shot, or drug addicts threatening me with a knife, or babies left on porches, or bodies found in forests.

6. Ruggedly handsome man will save me numerous times from nefarious people, of course.

7. But not all the time! Because I am a strong, capable woman.

8. I will have perfect hair.

See? Also, I down whisky shots like a pro. Image: Virgin River/Netflix. 

9. Eventually, after showing my prowess at saving people and doing good stuff and having perfectly tousled hair, the townsfolk will come to accept me and I will thus no longer be an outsider.

10. Eventually, after many, many hiccups, ruggedly handsome man and I will get together. The End.

If all these things do not happen when I inevitably move to a small town, I will be sorely disappointed. After all, it has happened in so many "woman moves to small town" dramas that I am sure it translates into real-life, right?

Right?

Right.

Watch Virgin River season 4 trailer. Story continues below.

If you've watched other small town dramas like Sweet Magnolias, Hart of Dixie, Gilmore Girls, Bunheads, or Chesapeake Shores, then the sweetness and sentimentality in Virgin River will have you as equally hooked. Yes, it's cheesy and predictable, but isn't that why we watch it? With the world seemingly falling apart around us, it's comforting to get lost in a world where good always prevails.

I admit I'm late to the game when it comes to Virgin River. Released in 2019, and already four seasons in with a fifth to come next year, I only started watching this feel-good drama series a week ago. It stars Alexandra Breckenridge as Melinda 'Mel' Monroe, a nurse practitioner and midwife who recently moved to Virgin River from LA, and Martin Henderson as Jack Sheridan, the local bar owner and former marine.

There are other people of course, with standouts Annette O'Toole as Hope McCrea and Tim Matheson as Vernon 'Doc' Mullins, but basically Mel and Jack are the crux of the storyline for Virgin River.

While it is not as saccharine as Netflix's other small town hit, Sweet Magnolias, Virgin River still has all the tropes that make small town dramas successful: good-looking leads, a sense of community, people in danger, things like renaissance fairs (because of course), and the classic WILL-THEY-WON'T-THEY scenario.

I mean, we all know THEY WILL. And that's precisely the point. We don't watch small town dramas because it's gritty and hard-hitting. If we wanted that, we'd watch The Wire or The Sopranos or something.

Virgin River is AWFUL I'll take ten seasons plz

— Kate (@KateAdamsPR) August 15, 2022

Please, I’d like to live in Virgin River. Let me run a cool niche museum and let me date a small town fire fighter. pic.twitter.com/S2a7JXCtjN

— Sophie Potts (@Sophie_Belleee) August 15, 2022

I'm currently at the end of season two of Virgin River where Jack has just been shot - GASP! - and will lazily turn over into season three this weekend to see if Jack has survived.

I'm not too worried.

Something tells me Jack is going to be just fine.

Virgin River seasons one to four is currently streaming on Netflix. 

Feature image: Netflix.

Love to travel? Take this short survey now to go in the running to win a $50 gift voucher!