OPINION: 'Oh Victoria, your husband is not on your team.'

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Like many 40-something women, I grew up scrutinising Posh and Becks, through no choice of my own, I might add.

They were inescapable. The 90's/noughties were the decades where the paps ruled. Magazines and newspapers the internet of the day, albeit slower and with no chance of riposte.

I hated football then and I hate it now. (So many reasons… another time). And I was a little too old for Girl Power, with the Spice Girls coming up just as I was taking my A Levels. They were aimed at little girls really, us late teens were already damaged goods, we knew who held the power and it definitely wasn't us. I watched them with interest. I liked what they stood for, even if the line-up felt formulaic. I scoffed at the pen portrait character band members created by their management team.

As if a woman could be reduced to their hair colour, their anger (let's be honest this was a racist nod to skin colour, no?), their penchant for athletiwear, their innocent babyish niceness or their social class. We're all these things and more, every single one of us. Was that the very point? As the youth of today say, maybe it's just not that deep.

Anyway, I have come here to have my say about Victoria Beckham because I am really worried about her.

Now some of you will remember when I wrote a piece about Meghan Markle and my concerns that her management people secretly hate her and are trying to ruin her. I was accused of bullying, hating Meghan, not understanding American cookery programmes and much more. The piece went viral for me.

Well yes, I'm here again to stick my nose in where it's not required. As usual, any claims here are "alleged" and this is only my point of view. Your view may be different and that is good, variety being the spice of life and all that. (Though you're wrong).

Here goes, my top ten red flags from the Victoria Beckham Netflix documentary and beyond.

Watch: Trailer for Victoria Beckham's new documentary. Post continues below.

1. The Spice Girl.

The crux of the issue is actually laid out by David himself. He said in the early days of their clandestine relationship he wanted to tell everyone he was dating a Spice Girl. He fell in love with the dream, a creation if you will.

When reality bit, he was left with a mere woman.

Remember what Rita Hayworth said? That "every man I knew went to bed with Gilda, but woke up with me".

I think it's also worth noting that their love affair began as a secret.

Not that they were cheating on anyone, but they were keeping it from the media.

This made things exciting; hiding things gives you a dopamine hit. But what goes up must come down.

When they went public those undercover meet ups were no longer required. It got boring. This dynamic also set up the media as the third wheel to their relationship, their original true love.

The Spice Girls at the height of their fame. Image: Getty.

2. The blender.

The opening scene of Dave intermittently blending a smoothie (in a branded machine) every time Victoria speaks seems innocent enough to the untrained eye.

It's just a joke! He's being silly! Yeah yeah yeah, it's more than that, I guarantee. He is using the guise of a prank to tell her that she isn't worth listening to. She's less important than blended vegetables. She can't complain, or, she can't take a joke, she can't stop him, or, she's being the fun police.

She has to smile along and go with the flow whilst this small act of indifference feeds her inner voice that she is not worthy.

Victoria, when someone shows you who they are, listen.

3. The body contact issue.

Now look, relationships change, we can't be stripping off constantly and snogging willy-nilly or we'd never get anything done.

BUT affection should be a constant.

There's something really unpleasant about the imbalance present with the Beckhams. In Victoria looping her arm around Dave's whilst his hand remains in his pocket, in her going for a hug and only being given half-body contact, in his refusal to put his arm around her, to literally and metaphorically protect her.

This was a theme throughout the documentary, him not reciprocating her physical contact and it's sad.

Remember, this is supposed to be the sanitised, very best version of their presentation as a couple.

Imagine what it's like when the cameras aren't rolling.

4. The childhood myth.

Dave reveals information about Victoria to make her less likeable to the public.

He corrects her, tries to portray her as dishonest. He's not on her team.

His comment in his own documentary about her being driven to school in a Rolls Royce became a meme.

@netflix be honest, just be honest 😇 #beckham #behonest ♬ original sound - Netflix

But he wasn't quite telling the truth, was he?

That little snippet makes us think Victoria was hiding a childhood of mansions and pony clubs and ski chalets.

Not so.

Victoria's Dad made his money as an electrical wholesaler. Victoria has explained: "I came from a working-class background and so my dad in the 80s, he was an entrepreneur. He started his business with my mum at the kitchen table, and he did very well, so he bought himself a Rolls-Royce."

I think Dave might be confusing money with class.

In England (for international readers) you can be upper class and not have money, just as being uber rich does not make you upper class. Victoria's dad had a white van as well as his boy-done-good Rolls.

Now, in some other countries, money does equal class and I think Dave knew this when he said it, being well aware of the global reach of Netflix. His comments on class are, I think actually, his veiled jealousy at her upbringing versus his.

His childhood home was definitely more humble than Victoria's.

I think he's jealous of her family. I think he knows when things go wrong she has a place she can go to for total and utter unconditional love. I also think that secretly her parents dislike him.

Just a hunch.

5. The food comments.

There's nothing that makes the general public hate a woman more than being thin. Actually, scratch that, they HATE a thin woman who actively tries to stay that way.

Now, being thin but also one of the guys, who eats loads of ice cream and drinks cans of beer and is just "so lucky" to not put on weight is allowed, admired actually. Pursuing thinness openly through exercise and calorie restriction is not.

Dave offers Victoria a chocolate bar in the opening scenes of the documentary, knowing full well she won't take it.

He's said more than once that his wife doesn't eat his food, he's moaned about it knowing she has an eating disorder. In an interview on the River Cafe podcast in 2022, he shared: "I get quite emotional about food and wine, when I'm eating something great I want everyone to try it. Unfortunately, I'm married to someone that has eaten the same thing for the last 25 years."

He went on to say Victoria "only eats grilled fish" and "steamed vegetables" since they got together.

"She will very rarely deviate from that. The only time she's probably ever shared something that's been on my plate was actually when she was pregnant with Harper and it was the most amazing thing. It was one of my favourite evenings. I can't remember what it was but I know she's not eaten it since."

So favourite he can't remember?

Yeah right.

He's telling this story to paint a negative picture of Victoria, whilst gilding himself with a halo of loving to share food with his wife.

He's publicly moaning she won't enjoy his culinary efforts, despite previous admissions she's struggled with an eating disorder. I mean he could just be thick and ill-informed…

6. On that…

Whilst we're on the subject of her eating disorder, I think it's very easy to say that the British media of twenty years ago led to her insecurities and subsequent restriction issues.

Undoubtedly they played a huge part, but there's more going on here I'd say.

Is she chasing perfection as part of a "pick-me" dance maybe? Is she not trying to be the tiniest smallest little girl she can be for Dave? Dainty and fragile and through this shouting out PLEASE LOVE ME!

I think he and his behaviour are the ongoing trigger.

7. The alleged affairs.

Which brings me to Dave's alleged affairs.

Now look, I used to work in advertising in London. I dated a guy who was a producer for sports radio. I socialised with people who were Beckham adjacent, god, I used to work on the same floor as the girl who went on to be their PA for years and years.

It was an open secret that Dave was allegedly playing away regularly.

8. The gaping chasm of affection.

There's something not right in the way they interact.

He seems to be tolerating her. Their chat in the last episode at his house is like a meeting between a boss and his employee.

The balance of power is unequal and I do wonder if this could be down to his alleged affairs?

If her wasting away is down to his alleged affairs? If her neediness with her eldest son (the interruption of his first dance at his wedding) is down to his alleged affairs? There's this gaping chasm where love and respect are missing.

Now, when Victoria and Dave met, she was very much the more famous, the better looking and the more financially successful.

As Dave himself said, she bought Beckingham Palace, not him. She took Dave on as a project, like a used car. She did him up! Look at him.

He's kind of goofy, no?

I'm not naïve enough to assume that when Dave bailed out the Victoria Beckham fashion business he just transferred some money from his personal account to hers.

People with their wealth have money tied up all over the place, in trusts, limited companies, stocks and shares, buildings, so yes, I am sure there was a discussion about where the money would come from.

BUT this whole her having to go to him with a begging bowl says so much.

Their money has come from their brand, their relationship, not just from him. The whole "his money, her money" thing is a nonsense, it's their money.

Yes, they needed to sit down together and decide if the VB label had a tenable future, but her now feeling she needs to prove herself to him because he gave her money, like a little girl trying to impress her father? Sheesh.

The power balance is f*cked. Let's not forget that if or when they divorce, it will be all their money, to be split with a starting point of 50 per cent each, for this is how it works in the UK.

(Victoria, if you're reading, I will happily send you a copy of my book about divorce, loads of good advice from other women in there and a few pointers on how to spot if you're married to a total prick. Shameless plug over).

9. The edit.

Throughout the documentary, Victoria looks like she's on the verge of tears. Again, let's remember that this is supposed to be showing her at her best.

She has the same director as Michelle Obama had for her documentary Becoming and yet she's captured as a bit pathetic and needy.

This isn't an editing surprise for Victoria, the series was made by Dave's production company Studio 99. Have they convinced her this is a positive portrayal? Has he?

There's so much wrong with the documentary but one of it's worst offences is that it's boring. How has this been allowed to happen after the success of Dave's series and her funny cameo's in it? She's not boring! And yet.

10. The three words.

In the documentary, we see Victoria about to enter the stage at the Spice Girls reunion tour.

She looks extremely anxious and turns to David, asking "am I wearing enough make-up?" and his response? "More than enough".

Ugh, I didn't like this.

There's an undertone of him thinking she's overly made up, slathered it on with a trowel. Why not say "you look amazing" or "you look stunning" or just "you're beautiful".

I did a bit of digging on this, and it seems Victoria even wears make up in bed with Dave. He has never seen her without her eyebrows drawn in.

As a woman who wore foundation to bed every night of my marriage I can tell you now, all is not well.

I really hope I'm wrong.

But if I am right, I just hope Victoria gets out before it's too late for her to enjoy her one wonderful life.

I can see an alternative reality where she's a power-lifter with a fitness empire and a stunning girlfriend called Hope. And she always removes her make up before they retire to bed together.

In fact, most days she doesn't even wear mascara.

Anyway, the Dave bashing is over (for now). What do you think? Come on … spill.

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Feature image: Getty.