Because no one can be arsed to go out on a date, here are 5 sex toys to spend time with on Valentine's Day instead.

It's almost Valentine's Day! And that means that your Instagram feed is about to be flooded with hopeless romantics sending ridiculous bunches of roses and going out for over-priced fixed menu dinners designed specifically for 'lovers'.

If that list of loved-up actions made you feel just a little bit (or a lot) vommy, then we're right there with you. 

Listen to The Undone, where Emily and Lucy discuss their favourite vibrators and chat to Flex Mami about her best dating hack. Post continues after podcast.

Instead of leaning into romance and mushiness, this year we're taking Valentine's Day by the balls and spending time with our favourite person on the planet: Ourselves.

So, for those sacking off dates and investing in self-care instead, here is a list of five sex toys we'd happily spend a romantic night in with.

For those wanting to upgrade their clit vacuum...

Go for this sex toy: The Sila Pink, $207 by Lelo.

Clit suckers have been the top dogs of the sex toy world for quite some time, and to be honest, they're only getting fancier. So if your trusty clit hoover has been working overtime then it might be time to treat yourself to an upgrade.

And nothing says upgrade quite like the whisper-quiet, gold-trimmed, sonic wave WONDER that is the Sila Pink clitoral stimulator from Lelo. 

Image: Lelo + Mamamia.  

For those wanting to get a little thrusty...

Go for this sex toy: Gyr8tor Extra Powerful Rechargeable Gyrating Vibrator, $129 from Lovehoney.

This jammy little fella claims to have "more rhythm than Jimi Hendrix at a Zumba class," and after seeing it in action, we'd like to dispute that: It's more of a Harry Styles in an Irish gig vibe. And for that, we love it. 

So if you want to incorporate a little more ~movement~ into your solo sessions, get amongst this guy.

Image: Mamamia + Lovehoney. 

If you're feeling a little bendy...

Go for this sex toy: Ruby, $129.95 from Elixr Play.

Ruby is your new fully flexible, ultra-soft wand massager. Yes, it has that many buzzwords around it, and it has rightfully earned every single one of them. Designed to bend and flex with the curves of your body for maximum pleasure and BOY does this sex toy feel good and fancy. And we like fancy.

Image: Mamamia + Elixr Play. 

If you like your eggs sunny side up...

Go for this sex toy: The My ilo Egg, $100 by My ilo.

While this may look precisely nothing like an actual egg, this toy will easily replace breakfast as the best way to start your day. Designed to gently cup your vulva, the My ilo Egg feels so good on your skin and has a seriously varied selection of pulses to suit practically every mood. If you've found yourself constantly turning to your trusty bullet but are getting a bit bored of the same-sameness, then this is a brilliant way to upgrade.

Image: Mamamia + My ilo. 

For those who want to support a lady startup while getting their rocks off...

Go for this sex toy: Control vibrator, $180 from Happy Mash.

Dubbed as the "Best Multi-Use Rabbit-Style Vibrator," this substantial sex toy is simply not here to f*ck spiders. It features a droopy-eared rabbit designed specifically to tickle your clit in the greatest of ways and comes in packaging that rivals the big beauty players, which we absolutely love. 

Plus, with its smooth-to-touch fabric made entirely from sustainable materials and the company being an Aussie-owned and run Lady Startup, you can feel like you're smashing the patriarchy and saving the planet all while orgasming.

Image: Mamamia + Happy Mash. 

Feature Image: Mamamia. 

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