My doctor's receptionist thought she should tell me why my son has autism.

It was the last thing I was expecting, to get into a ‘vaccinations don’t cause autism’ debate with my doctor’s receptionist, a woman in a position of responsibility who should know better.

But that’s exactly what happened a few days ago when I arrived at my doctor’s office to activate a Medicare number for my son’s Austism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) treatment, which is how we got into the debate it the first place, and why I left the conversation shaking with rage.

I arrived for an appointment that was expected to span over an hour. My son Giovanni was diagnosed with (ASD) a few months ago and he is about to begin treatment for it. It was already an emotional day for me. I was feeling overwhelmed at the prospect of managing Giovanni’s ASD, the weekly meetings at the occupational therapist, the monthly visit at the speech therapist and the meetings at school to discuss his progress, or lack-there-of. I sent the kids into the play area while I lined up to let the receptionist know we had arrived and we started chatting.

I asked if my doctor was very busy that day because I knew my appointment would take a while and she assured me that he wasn’t.

“Because I have to activate my son’s funding today,” I said.

“What for?” she asked.

“Autism Spectrum Disorder,” I explained.

Then she said it.

“Oh no, you poor thing. My daughter has two children with autism and she thinks it is vaccinations so she’s stopped vaccinating them. Have you?”

“But you work in a doctor’s office,” I began. “You’re in the perfect position to explain to her that there’s no link between vaccinations and autism.”

“I don’t know,” she said, sceptically. “Who knows if they do or they don’t.”

“Doctors,” I said. “Doctors know, like the many doctors who you work for here in this office. Haven’t you ever asked them to explain it to her?”

She looked at me blankly and I couldn’t help it. I was starring at her angrily. She then looked away but I wasn’t done. I was furious that she would say something so irresponsible to me, and I was there to begin treatment for my son’s autism, which hadn’t been caused by vaccinations, because vaccinations don’t cause autism.

“That study did so much damage,” I said. “It was one crap study where the claim was made that vaccinations cause autism and it has been disproven over and over again. Why do people still believe it to be true? It is so dangerous. My oldest son contracted whooping cough earlier this year because people are too scared to vaccinate their kids and that’s the last thing we needed, on top of his food allergies and on top of Giovanni’s autism. If people are worried about a medical issue, why don’t they just ask their doctors?”

“I don’t know,” she said uncertainly and trailed off.

I ended up walking off. If she, a receptionist one of the biggest medical centres in the area, still held vaccinations suspect when it comes to autism, nothing I did or said was going to change her mind but it made me so mad.

So I dobbed on her. I told my doctor what she had said and about the conversation we’d had.

“That was very unprofessional of her,” he said. “I don’t know why she would say that.”

“People like her are the reason why parents are failing to vaccinate their children. It’s so irresponsible and so dangerous. I have an autistic son and I’m so sick of people immediately bringing up vaccinations to me, as though I’m going to agree that that’s what caused his autism.”

“I agree,” he said. “I’m glad you said that to her. I’ll talk to her too.”

I sensed his frustration and he sensed mine. Neither of us could understand why people still believe what has been shown over and over again to be completely untrue.

While I don’t have any medical training I can explain a few things about autism. My son Giovanni was born with a brain that works differently to others. He isn’t brain damaged. He hasn’t been harmed by anything. His mind understands things visually. He comprehends and communicates visually. He has other issues and looking back he displayed symptoms from birth.

The vaccinations did not cause his autism. Autism isn’t a disease or a disability. It’s a different way of being and the treatment is designed to unlock their communication so they can better interact with the world.

There’s only one link I’ll ever draw between vaccinations and autism and this is it: Autistic kids experience high levels of anxiety, so the experience of receiving a vaccination can cause them to shut down like little robots, however that’s their stress reaction and there are lots of stress-filled situations that will cause the exact same reaction. It’s not the vaccination itself that is the problem. Vaccinations save lives!

Now that I am part of the autistic community I have lost count of the number of parents who are convinced their children’s autism was caused by vaccinations and have now just stopped vaccinating them. I’m always completely astounded. Because that’s exactly what we need. Autistic kids with measles and whooping cough. That’s better. Plus they are already autistic. If vaccinations did cause it (they didn’t) what further harm could vaccinations do, aside from the part where they save their lives?

The misinformation that still pervades is dangerous and mind-boggling. I just can’t make sense of it anymore.