An unpopular opinion on nature.

I’ve learned the hard way, over time, that it’s rarely a good idea to express an unpopular opinion. But the thing is, feeling a certain way about something when everyone else seems to feel the opposite way can make you feel like a total freak. So in the interests of feeling less like a freak, here goes:

I’m not that into nature.

I find it boring.

As I write this, I am in the Whitsundays, one of the most beautiful places in Australia. The water is bright blue. The sand on all the little islands dotted around is bright white. It is tranquil and objectively magnificent. Stunning even. And yet I am unmoved.

Would I rather be wandering around a shopping centre? Probably yes. Am I happier on my laptop, writing this than I just was going on a bush walk? I really am.

For a long time - my whole life actually - I have felt this was some kind of moral failing. Still do a bit and there’s a good reason why.

As a concept, the transcendent quality of nature is pretty popular. We are constantly told about its power to soothe, to inspire, to relax and to heal us. "You need to ground yourself in the earth," I’ve often been told by various nature-lovers who espouse the transformative benefits of taking your shoes off and reconnecting with sand or soil or grass or dirt.

On the odd occasion I have tried this, I don’t hate it.

Recently though, after my ADHD diagnosis, I’ve come to understand that the whole point of nature - its stillness, calmness, peacefulness - are all things my brain is allergic to. What are positive attributes for most, are negative for me. Relaxing literally makes my brain panic because it needs a lot more stimulation than nature can provide.

Obviously, I understand this isn’t true of everyone, not even everyone with ADHD but it has been something of an ah-ha moment to realise I’m not a superficial, materialistic twat just because gazing at a sunset or looking at the stars or contemplating a breathtaking view does not do it for me.

The energy and stimulation of an urban environment is more the speed my brain requires to function optimally. For example, on a bushwalk earlier today with my family, I picked a fight just to have something to occupy my mind. You should come on holidays with me. I’m super fun.

My mother is one of those people who feels most herself in nature. She loves the bush and my childhood was spent being dragged around on bushwalks, beach holidays, bush picnics and camping trips.
Yeah, I know; the sound you can hear is the world’s tiniest violin playing a mournful tune, just for me.

What it did do, was make me fairly averse to holidays which has been tricky to navigate for the rest of my life. Especially because I married a man who also loves nature, almost as much as my mum does. He particularly loves the water, swimming in it, looking at it, diving under it, sailing on top of it.

And I have always felt somehow broken or shallow that I could not share his passion for the sea. Many of my closest girlfriends are similarly nature-loving. My friend Julia wrote a whole book about the natural wonder of Phosphorescence, she lives to go ocean swimming every day and she’s currently learning to free dive. My friend Justine is also an ocean swimmer and a hiker. Last year, she went on a family holiday to a country I can’t remember where you literally swim around an island. She’s about to go to another country I can’t remember to hike for 28 days in the snow. My friend Paula also loves the beach and the country and gets out of the city whenever she can. My friend Holly moved her whole life to the country and before that, lived by the beach where she went every day. Until COVID, my mother went on an annual camping trip deep in the Outback with a bunch of her fellow artist friends. She has a whole part of her wardrobe dedicated to camping gear which I personally feel is a poor use of precious cupboard space but hey.

For a long time - decades - I did a poor job of faking my interest in nature. It’s not that I object to it or that I can’t appreciate the power and beauty of it - I can! It’s also not that I don’t care about it - I do! 

I’m just not that into it. There, I said it. I feel unburdened.

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Image: Getty