There are 7 types of cryers. Which one are you?

We all know that feeling. When the moisture, pressure and heat build in the inner corner of your eye, you try to blink or look up to stop it from falling.

We all cry at some point in our lives. Some of us cry at weddings. Others cry when they're tired, or stressed, or when a friend opens up about their heartbreak. It's a universal human experience, and yet, it can be so different from one person to the next.

"Why we cry is a really interesting one," says Australian Psychological Society CEO Dr. Zena Burgess, explaining that it is often the result of overwhelm, and can be both positive and negative.

But that's just the start.

From stress, to hormones, to empathy, our tears can tell a deeper story — often before we've had a chance to put our feelings into words.

While Dr Burgess says there aren't officially recognised 'types of crying' in psychological textbooks, we can try to understand what is happening when we cry in very different situations (i.e. a wedding vs a funeral).

Here, we unpack seven types of cryers, and what might be going on behind the scenes when the waterworks start.

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Emotional cryers.

Sometimes the emotions just pour out of your eyes. Image: The Notebook.

Unsurprisingly, many of us cry when we're feeling really emotional and overwhelmed. Everything is all too much and the tears just begin their own little torrent down our faces. This is very normal.

"Mostly this comes from a sense of feeling overwhelmed, powerless, or helpless, and that's why sometimes we cry when we're sad, or angry or fearful or disappointed," Dr Burgess tells Mamamia.

Emotional cryers feel things deeply and express that emotion through tears. Whether it's heartbreak, fear, or disappointment, tears become a release valve for the intensity of the experience.

Frustrated cryers.

You're not angry, you're not sad. You're just at your absolute wits' end of doing it all. Whether it's someone going 20km/h in a 60km/h zone when you're late, or trying to explain to an ex-boyfriend why what they did is indeed cheating, there are so many moments in our life where frustration can lead to tears.

According to Dr Burgess, this is "a fear response, or a response to feeling threatened in a way."

Everything is going wrong, and because of feeling stuck, unheard or incapable, the tears flow. It's not about sadness — it's about hitting a wall and feeling unable to navigate around it.

Hormonal cryers.

We've all been here. Image: New Girl

There are people who are emotional all the time, and then there are those who notice that it only really gets to them during times of hormonal change. Whether you're entering peri-menopause or about to go on your period, hormonal shifts can narrow your window of resilience, and make crying more likely.

"This happens when everything feels overwhelming. It feels like too much," says Dr Burgess. "You're tired, you know, you're weary, you're emotional, and you're feeling like life is asking too much of you right now."

We've all been there… right?

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Happy cryers.

Mostly commonly seen in white-veil moments when previously stoic grooms are reduced to a puddle of tears at the end of an aisle, happy tears are their own special breed of overwhelm coming out of your eyes. Except it's a kind of overwhelm of joy and beauty.

"Happy crying is that feeling of overwhelm when you're taken aback by how beautiful something is. Like, if you go to a wedding, how often do you see a lot of people crying at a wedding?" Dr Burgess explains. "It's not because they're sad about the people getting married…

"It's because they're touched by the emotion of the situation, or it reminds them of something that is poignant for them."

Stress cryers.

Kimmy K went viral for her stressed-out cry. Image: Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

Much like frustrated crying, stress crying usually happens when you feel there is no way out of a pressure-filled situation, whether you've taken too much on, or you're simply unable to deal with converging deadlines. The good news is that stress crying can be a good thing.

"Sometimes it's a way of letting out the stress, letting out the emotion — [so you] can move forward," explains Dr Burgess.

Stress cryers often don't see the tears coming — they arrive after too many responsibilities have piled up. Crying becomes a pressure release, helping the brain reset and refocus.

Empathetic cryers.

You know those people who feel others' emotions almost stronger than they feel their own? Yep, those are the empaths, and sometimes they can cry on our behalf.

"It's interesting, the research shows if there's one person crying and another person comforts them, it actually makes them feel better," says Dr Burgess, adding that it's a kind of 'signal' to other humans that an issue is worthwhile and important.

Empathetic crying is about connection. These tears show up when we see someone else in pain, because we're wired to care, to mirror, and to reach out.

Laugh cryers.

Remember when Jennifer Aniston started laugh crying in Friends, breaking character? Image: Friends.

Imagine that someone has told you a real knee-slapper of a joke. All of a sudden, tears come out of your eyes? Why?

According to Dr Burgess, "You're laughing till you cry, which is really more you're laughing till it is so extreme it's hilarious, and you're just wiping the tears away because it's funny, not because there's an expression of distress."

Tears of laughter are a reminder that not all crying is sad. In fact, crying while laughing can signal the sheer intensity of joy — when our bodies can't contain it all.

But is crying bad for us?

Contrary to popular belief, letting a tear or two out can actually be really good for you. It really just depends on the circumstances.

"I think crying is bad if you're alone and unsupported. In your mind, it can make you feel more alone," says Dr Burgess.

However, a lot of the time, it's a good way to let our feelings out and come back to an issue or stimuli with a more balanced view.

She adds, "I think when we're overwhelmed, and we can't work out how to express ourselves, sometimes crying gives you a bit of freedom to let some of the emotion out so you can start to use your words again."

Not everyone approaches crying in the same way. 

According to Dr Burgess, our tendency to cry — or to hold back tears — is shaped by a mix of factors, including our attachment style, cultural background, and gender.

"I think it's relevant how attachment styles impact crying. What I mean by that is people who feel securely attached or feel more comfortable expressing their emotions are more willing to cry or more able to cry because they consider it more healthy than normal," she explains.

In contrast, those with more avoidant or anxious attachment styles may struggle to express emotion outwardly or might suppress tears altogether, even in moments of high distress.

Cultural background also plays a significant role in how people relate to crying. What might be considered an appropriate emotional release in one context could be frowned upon in another.

"In some cultures, crying is more acceptable than others. So, people learn to express their strong emotions through crying," says Dr Burgess.

Then there's the influence of gender. While social expectations around this have shifted in recent years, crying is still more commonly associated with women than men, which can be a trait developed through socialisation and gender expectations.

What if we can't cry? Or can't stop?

According to Dr Burgess, some people actually "physiologically cannot cry."

"That is, you know, a condition," she says. "But it may be that people have just grown up in families or in situations where crying is unacceptable. That just means that it may needs to be other ways to express themselves, or maybe it's a skill that they can learn."

And if we can't stop crying, well it might be a chance to go and get some help with our emotional responses.

"I think if you find that you are crying a lot and don't understand what you're crying about, and don't feel like you can control when you're crying... That's when I've had people come to me as a psychologist," she says.

"Then we have to look at some of the dynamics in their lives, or some of the relationships in their lives, or some of the past experiences in their lives, and help us develop some different strategies."

Her main takeaway?

"I guess I just want to emphasise how it is a part of being human," she says.

"It's one of the repertoire of our emotional expressions, and we need to allow ourselves to experience emotions and express them in a way that feels natural."

Feature image: Getty.

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