Allison Holker was planning her late husband tWitch's funeral when she found a shoebox.

This post includes mention of suicide and child abuse that may be distressing to readers.

Just three days before his death in 2022, Stephen Boss — better known as DJ tWitch — celebrated his ninth wedding anniversary with his wife Allison Holker. She had no idea he was struggling.

The widow was left broken by her husband's death, which was ruled a suicide. In the days that followed, Holker's mind raced with unanswered questions. But she pushed them to the back of her mind as she planned his funeral.

Accompanied by a friend, Holker began to clean out their wardrobe to find clothes for Boss to be buried in. It was then that she made an "alarming" discovery.

Watch: Saying Goodbye to tWitch. Post continues after video.

Hidden inside her late husband's shoeboxes was a "cornucopia" of drugs — mushrooms, pills, and "other substances" that were foreign to Holker.

"It was a really triggering moment for me because there were a lot of things I discovered in our closet that I did not know existed," Holker, 36, told PEOPLE ahead of the release of her memoir, This Far.

"It was very alarming to me to learn that there was so much happening that I had no clue [about]. It was a really scary moment in my life to figure that out, but it also helped me process that he was going through so much and he was hiding so much, and there must have been a lot of shame in that."

As for his drug use, Holker was aware that Boss would smoke marijuana and drink after their kids went to bed. But it wasn't until she read his journals for clarity that the 36-year-old discovered the extent of his demons.

"He was wrestling with a lot inside himself, and he was trying to self-medicate and cope with all those feelings because he didn't want to put it on anyone because he loved everyone so much," she said of Boss, who — in some journal entries — alluded to experiencing childhood sexual abuse by a male figure in his life. "He didn't want other people to take on his pain," added Holker.

tWitch died on December 13, 2022, aged 40. It was Holker who confirmed the news to PEOPLE.

"It is with the heaviest of hearts that I have to share my husband Stephen has left us," she said in a statement. "Stephen lit up every room he stepped into. He valued family, friends and community above all else and leading with love and light was everything to him. 

"He was the backbone of our family, the best husband and father, and an inspiration to his fans."

According to a report published by the Los Angeles County Medical Examiner, he died by suicide.

Boss was best known for starring on The Ellen DeGeneres Show from 2013, prominently appearing alongside the television host as the show's "dancing DJ". He was also a co-executive producer, and held his role right up until the series was discontinued.

DeGeneres also shared a statement following the announcement of his death, sending love to Holker and her children.

"I'm heartbroken," she wrote on X (formerly Twitter). "tWitch was pure love and light. He was my family, and I loved him with all my heart. I will miss him. 

"Please send your love and support to Allison and his beautiful children — Weslie, Maddox, and Zaia."

Before landing the spot on Ellen, Boss started out as a dancer. He competed on shows like MTV's The Wade Robson Project and Star Search, appeared as a dancer in films including Blades of Glory and Hairspray, and competed in season four of So You Think You Can Dance in 2008, where he came second.

In 2010, Boss returned for the all-star season — and so did Holker. Also a dancer, Holker competed on the show's second season in 2006. 

She and Boss started dating soon after their season together wrapped, and got married in 2013 at So You Think You Can Dance creator Nigel Lythgoe's winery in California.

Together, the couple co-hosted Disney's Fairy Tale Weddings and co-founded the dance app, CLI Studios. Boss' final role was in the 2022 Disney+ special The Hip Hop Nutcracker with Holker.

The couple shared three children together. Boss adopted Holker's daughter, Weslie, from a previous relationship, and the pair welcomed a son, Maddox, in 2016, and a daughter, Zaia, in 2019.

If you or anyone you know needs to speak with an expert, please contact your GP or in Australia, contact Lifeline (13 11 14), Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) or Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636), all of which provide trained counsellors you can talk with 24/7.

Feature Image: Getty