real life

How Tully Smyth's career as a social media influencer cost her her latest relationship.

On the surface, Tully Smyth looks like she’s living the dream.

Her Instagram page is filled with pictures of the former Big Brother contestant drinking champagne at exclusive events, surrounded by other well known faces, wearing the latest designer fashion and travelling all over the world. For free.

But reality isn’t quite so shiny.

In an interview with Meshel Laurie on her podcast Nitty Gritty Committee, the 30-year-old said that her social media following – that’s almost a quarter of a million followers on her Instagram – that affords her all these opportunities recently cost her relationship.

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“I’ve been single for four years and I met someone very special and it was going very, very well. Then basically, long story short without getting in to too many details, he ended things because I had too much of a profile,” she said.

“It wasn’t his world and he didn’t realise…he’s not big on social media, I don’t think he realised I was apparently still relevant and it was too much for him.”

If the end of a relationship wasn’t hard enough to endure, Smyth says it made her question whether it was all worth it.

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“That really made me stop and assess where I am, where I’ve been and where I want to go. It made me regret and second guess every decision I’ve made over the last four years. It made me wish I hadn’t done Big Brother. It really made me reflect on me,” she says.

“Look, I’m so lucky to do what I do and so appreciative of what I’ve done, I’ve travelled the world and met some awesome people, but I’ve never been challenged or completely inspired by it. I’ve always had bigger dreams, bigger goals.”

When asked by Laurie whether he was just being a d*ck, that he couldn’t handle it, Smyth said it went beyond that.

“My girlfriends have had similar opinions. It just made me sort of go ‘is everything I’ve had in the last four years, the party, the fun, the holidays, is that worth losing someone I care about?’ I don’t know if it is.

“At the end of the day, the things he has an issue with, I also have an issue with. I don’t like the paparazzi, I don’t think I’ve got a whole lot of substance… waking up and taking a selfie for the day, doesn’t make me feel fulfilled.”

Listen: The case for realistic images on social media. Post continues after audio.

Describing herself as a “true romantic”, Smyth said she considers love and family to be ‘the most important thing in the world’.

“I would throw everything else away tomorrow if it meant I could have that. And to lose someone I really care about because of this whole world, the selfies, the Snapchats, the Birdcage, it’s really made me question, ‘is this what I want to be doing?'”

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It’s not the first time Smyth has exposed the cracks in the seemingly perfect veneer of social media.

Last month she shared a picture of her ‘real’ reality, caring for her mother who has Alzheimers.

You want to know my reality? What goes on in my every day life? This. This is my reality. I would normally never share something so private, so personal. In fact I’ve sat here and changed my mind about posting it at least a hundred times. Since I gained a social media following overnight due to my appearance on Big Brother back in 2013, I’ve struggled with wanting to use my platform to raise awareness for @alzheimersaus and wanting to keep our family’s heartbreak private. I share photos of my mum from before she was sick, trying to protect her. Trying to ensure that the world remembers her as she was: beautiful and bright and bold. And not as she is today: frail and ravaged by the disease. Unable to talk. Unable to recognise us. Barely alive. Stuck in some cruel purgatory. Lately however, I’ve felt lost. Social media has been ruined for me. Tarnished. The fun, the frivolity has been taken out of what I do. My bubble has burst and I’m fucking angry. I’m heartbroken. This- Instagram- is not real life. My feed, all the parties & stupid selfies and pretty photos of my food, is not real life. It’s a curated version of events. It’s my highlights reel. It’s not what’s important to me. Yes, I have been lucky enough to create a living out of social media. I’ve been blessed with some amazing opportunities, travelled the world and met some new inspiring, life-long friends. But it’s not my every day reality. This is. My family and my friends and my loved ones. They are my reality. They are my priority. They are what’s important to me & I will always move heaven and earth to protect them. I’ve said before that I don’t like asking for favours, I don’t like asking for help. But I’m asking you to do this for me: if you’ve ever bought something because you’ve seen it on my Instagram…if you’ve ever eaten at a venue because you saw I had & it looked delicious, if you’ve ever spent a cent, because I convinced you too…because I influenced you to…then please, head to to the link in my bio & donate even just $10 to @alzheimersaus. It would mean the world to me. It would make my heart a little less heavy today. It would make the knot in my stomach a little less tight.

A post shared by Tully Smyth (@tee_smyth) on

“You want to know my reality, you want to know what I do every day? You follow me to see me go to these fun parties and wear cute dresses and hang out with other famous people but this is my actual f***ing reality. My mum’s been dying for 20 years, very slowly,” Smyth told Laurie of that post.

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