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I often think of myself as the world's worst travel writer because I never travel anywhere exotic.
It's not that I haven't tried…
- Playa Del Carmen — A vibrant coastal town in Mexico, where my most distinct memory was leaping over a giant iguana to make it to the public toilet in time.
- Cala Salada — One of the most stunning, tranquil beaches in Ibiza with crystal blue water where I experienced stomach cramps while swimming and did a fart that was, in fact, not a fart.
- The Gilli Islands — A trio of secluded islands off the coast of Lombok, Indonesia where I lost 5kgs in 7 days and watched a gecko crawl across my limp, clammy body as I laid on the bathroom floor and gave absolutely no shits because there were no shits left to give.
Image: Supplied.
Unfortunately, my irritable bowel does not take a holiday when I do. It follows me onto the plane and travels across the world with me, wherever I go.

























