by KATE LEAVER
The last time my mother was on a ship, she was four years old. She rode the odd 13,500 nautical miles of wave, through the navy swell from London to Sydney, to start a new beachside life with her family.
So when mum and I found ourselves aboard a P & O cruise ship regally called The Pacific Jewel, it was a very different experience. We stopped at three island ports, each more sparkling than the last: Noumea, Lifou Island, and Port Vila in Vanuatu. It was a Pina Colada Adventure of circus performers, aromatherapy saunas, and geriatric Bingo. It was a cavalcade of happy families pacing zebra-print carpet and dining at sumptuous restaurants.
The only thing in common was the pirate-themed costume night.
The most important thing I can report from the high seas is that sharing a small cabin with your mother can be a rather gorgeous bonding experience. For me, it was a quick 5-day refresher on why my mum is so impossibly fabulous.
Now, when you’re on a cruise, you meet all sorts of people. Big ones, small ones, young and old, noisy folk, honeymooners, grandparents, sneaky teenagers, cute toddlers. They swim, they dance, they impersonate Elvis in front of hundreds of people. They play 9am trivia, learn the tango, hit the treadmill, treat themselves to massages, relax by the pool, and spend quality time with the family. If they’re feeling lucky, they hit the lavish blackjack table.
And they eat. A lot.
(See the gallery below for evidence of the ship’s two most divine deserts: Luke Mangan’s Chocolate Tasting Plate and the head pastry chef’s Mango Four Ways. I ate the perfect steak & truffle mash with sides of bacon and zucchini, pear and rocket salad, and thick chips so quickly I’m afraid I didn’t get a photo. Just imagine the most delicious thing ever, and multiply it by 5).