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'There's a new "toxic boy mum" trend. And I think I might be one.'

On a recent episode of This Glorious Mess we dove head first into the absolutely wild world of what's being dubbed the "toxic boy mum" phenomenon that's lighting up TikTok algorithms around the globe.

And I think, I might be one (just a little bit).

What is a toxic boy mum you might ask? Great question. If you ever watched Everybody Loves Raymond, Marie is the OG Toxic Boy Mum. Charlotte's mother-in-law, Bunny MacDougal, from Sex and The City? Toxic Boy Mum.

But this recent trend means the term has taken on a new meaning.

Watch: This Glorious Mess: Are you a toxic boy mum? Post continues below.


Video: Mamamia

What is the toxic boy mum TikTok trend about?

Ultimately, it's piggybacking off the 'boy mum' term; a mum that shows, at times, unhealthy levels of obsession with their sons. They can do no wrong.

But the added toxic twist? They show preferential treatment to their sons over their daughters.

Now this is the part I can't relate to because I don't have daughters. I also don't believe in showing preferential treatment to one child over another. In fact, it can be very damaging.

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Which is where a lot of the criticism and backlash comes from, understandably so.

TikTok creator Avery Woods received criticism after posting a video about her feelings towards her son and daughter.

"My son has my heart. My heart and my soul. I'm obviously obsessed with Stevie-Lee" (her daughter)," she said. "She is the greatest little girl in the world, but, my whole life I always wanted to be a boy mum".

Avery has since deleted the video, but not before other creators screen-recorded it and continued to use it as an example of what they believed is "toxic" parenting.

@screenshothq

Avery Woods has since deleted a video that made her the subject of recent online discussion about boy mums, but the controversy continues! The term 'boy-mum' has been taken to represent a mother who takes special enjoyment in raising a son. There are nearly 18 million posts with the hashtag #boymom on Instagram and 31 billion views TikTok. #boymom #boymum #mom #mothersday #parenting #gentleparenting #boymomlife #boymomsoftiktok

♬ Solas x Interstellar - Gabriel Albuquerqüe

Other creators like Anna Saccone have embraced the 'haters gone hate' mantra. She's created multiple skits where she shows ways in which you can be a toxic boy mum.

In one video, she is seen pushing her daughters out of the way, with them begging for her attention in the background, as she dotingly carries her son around.

@annasaccone

It’s better this way 🙃 #therapytiktok #annasaccone #sacconejolys #toxicmom #toxicboymom #ceilingslizzymcalpine #milennialmom #momof4 #mumof4 #4kidsmama #mommyvlogger #30somethingsoftiktok #30somethingmom #therapytok

♬ ceilings - Sped Up Version - Lizzy McAlpine

In some of the videos, mums even go as far as to say they ignore when their sons hit their sisters and excuse it. Now they are likely saying it in jest to get engagement on their posts, but violence is never funny. And I would never turn a blind eye to any form of it.

I am (arguably) obsessed with my sons.

And as I sheepishly mused on This Glorious Mess, I can't imagine my boys ever having a romantic partner who loves them more than I do. I know, I am Bunny MacDougal. But when it comes to my sons, that love is unconditional.

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You can listen to the full episode here. Post continues below. 

What about the daughters?

I do think about the daughters of these TikTok creators. Do they understand they are being pushed away in jest? Or how will Stevie-Lee feel one day when she finds out her mum went viral for saying she felt a different kind of love for her brother?

And what kind of men are we creating for the future, these little kings on pedestals who can do no wrong? Who are shown more leniency and love than their sisters. It's food for thought.

Signs you might be a 'toxic boy mum'.


  • You've got a "my son is my whole world" phone wallpaper, but your daughter's school photo from 2022 is still sitting in a drawer somewhere waiting to be framed. Ooft.



  • Your internal monologue goes something like: "Boys will be boys!" when your son draws on the walls, but your daughter gets a stern talking to for leaving textas on her desk.



  • You've caught yourself saying things like "No girl will ever be good enough for my baby boy" and actually mean it. Spoiler alert: This isn't the flex you think it is.



  • The thought of your son's future wedding gives you the same feeling as watching the last episode of Married At First Sight — pure dread and inexplicable anger.



  • You're teaching your son to cook, not because it's a basic life skill, but because you're already planning to critique his future partner's culinary abilities. (Yes, this is actually a thing people do.)



  • You've referred to yourself as your son's "first girlfriend" more than once. Collective cringe.



  • The phrase "my son is my soulmate" or "I never knew love until I had a son" has left your lips unironically. (We need to talk about this one).


In all seriousness, I don't want to be a Bunny or Marie kind of mother-in-law in the future. I would hate to think I would make a future daughter or son-in-law cringe in my presence.

I love being a boy mum, but I'm determined not to be a toxic one... (in the future).

Feature image: Sex and the City c/o HBO 

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