Toilet training, just another one of the glamorous (okay maybe I mean gruesome) parts of parenting children. People will try and tell you that children should be trained by a certain age, boast that their child was toilet trained before two or shove some magical manual in your face that will supposedly train them in three days.
But like everything with parenting, there is no rule book that applies to every child because, shock horror, every child is different.
And while you might be one of those lucky bastards whose kid did toilet train at 18 months in three days – most of us are not.
Here is what I’ve discovered on the road to toilet training a toddler…
1. There is no right or wrong age, or way to do it. I’ve had to really rethink the whole idea I had in my head of how and when it was gonna happen. Kids will decide when they’re ready, you cannot force them.
LISTEN: The birth guru who knows how to make labour pain free, and the secret to toilet training. (Post continues…)
2. It takes a lot longer than you expect. I’m convinced anyone who had their kid toilet trained in three days thanks to some magical unicorn holy grail of a e-book means that their kid worked out how to wee in the toilet. Because poo takes a whole lot longer – so stop bragging and pass me a wine.
3. You will up your bribery game ten-fold just to get someone sit on the dunny. “Hey sweetie, mummy will give you a chocolate, a new Barbie and a Lamborghini if you do poo in the potty.”
4. You will sound like a broken record. “Do you need to go toilet?”, “Do you need to do wees?”, “Do you need to go poo?” – EVERY. SINGLE. SECOND