To everyone who has the audacity to talk to me during my favourite TV show.

I’m seriously considering divorcing my husband after last night because he kept on interrupting me during my favourite TV show and it’s got to stop.

There aren’t many shows I take the time to watch but this week Wentworth returned for season 4, episode 1 and I was all in. Not since the premiere of Masterchef or the return of Game of Thrones have I been so invested in a show.

For those who don’t know, Masterchef, Game of Thrones and Wentworth are shows you have to watch the old fashioned way, episode by episode, week by week. They don’t release the entire season allowing you to binge-watch while the kids are at school/asleep and your partner is at work/asleep.

You have to sit down and watch them live.

Masterchef is on every night so if I’m interrupted every now and then, it’s annoying but not marriage-ending. Game of Thrones comes out at 11am so I can watch that in peace too.

However Wentworth, a show I have been waiting for MONTHS AND MONTHS to come back, airs at 8.30 on a Tuesday night and my husband annoyed me so much I had to sit him down and have a serious conversation about it.

I said, “Hon, if you ever talk to me during Wentworth I will hurt you, or divorce you, or both.”

He seemed startled by my intensity and the red glow coming out of my eyes so I was forced to compare my choice of TV shows to his beloved Jessica Jones, just so he fully understood the seriousness of the issue.

“Imagine Jessica Jones came out once a week and was live and I asked you to take the rubbish out during it. That would annoy you, right?”

“But I did eventually leave you alone,” he pointed out.

“No,” I slowed down the pace at which I was talking at this point because clearly he was having trouble following what I was saying. “You walked really loudly into the room, watched over my shoulder for a bit then said, “I won’t disturb you hon, enjoy your TV show,” and then you walked out the room really loudly. That was talking. That was an interruption.”

“When Wentworth is on you are dead to me. Got it?”

“But what about the kids?”

I gently explained that our children are clearly smarter than he is. It only took one episode of My Kitchen Rules earlier this year for them to understand that Mummy couldn’t hear them unless it was a commercial. They understood that unless they were bleeding, they needn’t bother saying anything at all.

My daughter got into the habit of sitting down next to me quietly, patiently waiting until the commercial before daring to even speak and then it was always something like, "Mum, I dropped ice cream on my bed." I'd never get angry because she hadn't interrupted me to tell me, even though the ice cream was becoming more melty every second.

She really is my favourite child.

My husband, however, isn't that smart, clearly, and needs a little more encouragement to not break the law of TV viewing by talking during the show. By the way that's why I can't watch GoggleBox. I know everyone says it's hilarious but the idea of sitting down with someone to watch a TV show and them talking the whole way through it is my idea of hell.

"Hon, have you seen my boxing gloves," he asked me last night, ten minutes into what was a CRUCIAL moment. In my head I was screaming, "Shut up, shut up, shut up", but on the outside I pretended not to hear him. So he repeated his question.

Cue Death Stare.

Plus, I don't appreciate feeling like a bitch for asking him to STFU (Shut The Fuck Up) during Wentworth, a show I have been waiting months and months and months to return.

Mamamia staff share the most annoying things people have done while they are trying to watch TV:

I was trying to watch Seven Year Switch which I had been so looking forward to and my sister's boyfriend came in  after dinner with two friends. They made FUN of my show. They then turned it down without my permission. I could see shit going down but couldn't hear it. I was devastated

I have a friend who always suggests we watch movies at his house but he can't keep quiet for five minutes so now I refuse. I cannot stand half watching a movie

My kids are like, "I have to tell you something," when I'm at the crucial point of a show, and I'm like, "Is it really important?" and they're like, "Yes! Yes!" and it's always something like what their imaginary kittens are building in their secret underground laboratory.

Seriously. My husband just walks into the lounge room and talks at me. I try really pointedly to get the remote and pause Netflix. I stare at him. Nothing.

Sue Cato on the The Drum was making an awesome point about Kelly O'Dwyer's performance on Q&A and my husband just talked at me about some Cisco server thing. I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT YOU COULD BE SPEAKING SWAHILI TO ME RIGHT NOW!

She'll look at her phone during GOT, a show you really need to pay close attention to, and then look up and ask me to repeat someone's entire monologue. Or she'll ask me what a character is going to do or why they're doing something. I'm like... I don't know? I literally have the same amount of information as you do??

I feel like the biggest killjoy but people talking through shows I'm watching is so frustrating. It's like, can't you just not say a word for fifty minutes? It's not that hard.

In my defense I had spent the entire day planning to watch it in peace. I made sure to have dinner on the table early, to get the school bags and uniforms ready for the next day. I had the kids in bed, a cup of tea in my hand, the lights were off.

What about all of this did he not get? Why did the image of me sitting on the lounge, tea in hand, eyes glued to the TV screen, the kids not making a peep, prompt him to ask me several stupid questions causing me to have to glance away from the screen long enough to give him death stares, causing me to miss nuances in the story line such as people's facial expressions and movements, and during some of his longer stupid questions ("Honey, do you recall seeing an old dishcloth in the garage?) important dialogue.

INFURIATING doesn't even describe it.

This is marriage-ending stuff and he'll do well to remember it next time.

I'm giving him one, more, chance.