'Devices are not the devil': The 7 things I learnt while travelling with my teens.

We recently got back from Intrepid Travel’s 8-day Vietnam tour for families with teenagers. 

Our holiday came about when my husband and I realised there were only two more summers with our eldest before she finishes high school. 

We yearned for one more great family holiday before our girls (who are 12 and 15) roll their eyes at the suggestion.

I was nervous about whether we’d find a trip where everyone would be happy or just end up scowling at each other. One of the reasons we decided on the Intrepid tour was to leave behind our COVID cocoon and have an adventure. We’d never been to Vietnam and the tour itinerary was action packed.

Here’s the lowdown on the tour and my tips for travelling with teenagers.

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1. It's called 'Intrepid Travel' for a reason.

At the start of the tour, I was concerned we’d dialled up the adventure a bit too much as we started with over 120km of cycling (over a few days). 

On a couple of occasions during the Hanoi “warm up cycle”, I had the handlebars of my bike in a death grip as a stream of scooters whizzed past. 

But Chi, our local guide, was great and calmly lead our group of 12 (6 adults and 6 kids), giving hand signals to indicate pot holes to avoid and when we were going to stop to see something of interest along the way. 

Once we started cycling in the countryside, we relaxed even more – loving the background of hills and rice paddies and the many kids who’d race out of their homes or schools to say hello. We all surprised ourselves with how much cycling we could actually do.

2. Adventure is a great icebreaker.

When we booked the tour I wondered how all the teens (and parents) would get on, but we bonded really well due to all the group activities.

The cycling proved a great initial icebreaker - we had hours to chat as we pedalled and lots to talk about. Topics ranged from “did you see that house having a karaoke party?” to “who has the sorest butt?”.

After the cycling, we went kayaking on a misty Halong Bay and then caught a fairly raucous overnight train from Hanoi to Da Nang. 

By the train journey, we were at ease with each other and happily compared cabins and chatted in the hallway. The kids even ventured off to play cards in the dining car at the other end of the train, although they did like having one of the parents check in on them occasionally.

Image: Supplied.

3. The way to a teenager's heart is through their stomach.

You don’t want to travel with a hangry teenager (or parent for that matter) and Vietnam excelled on this front. Our family love to eat and so we got stuck into many delicious meals – from familiar dishes like pho and banh mi to new tastes like bun cha (chargrilled pork on noodles), mango cakes and even duck tongue.

Due to Vietnam’s French colonial past, there are bakeries to visit for fresh baguettes and butter. And the girls loved the variety of drinks on offer - iced Vietnamese coffee got a big tick from them.

4. Give your teen some room to breathe.

It’s important to remember that teens need their own space on a fairly regular basis. On the tour, the girls had their own room which became their little oasis at the end of the day to message friends and watch a show. 

And while some of the driving between cities was quite long, the kids actually liked the opportunity to do their own thing - whether that was listening to music, chatting or napping.

5. Devices are not the devil.

Devices are usually a hot topic for parents of teens. On this trip, the girls had their phones but the tour naturally limited how much time they could spend on them (ever tried taking a photo with your phone while riding a bike or kayaking? I don’t recommend).

6. Be prepared for some low points.

There were, of course, some lows. The hardest part of the tour was reconciling our girls’ usual holiday wake up time with the tour’s standard start time of 7.30 or 8am. 

There were a couple of mornings where I had to prise the girls out of bed at an ungodly hour (according to them). Seeing my child then stomp across the breakfast area throwing me the evil eye will not be one of my favourite memories.

Another moment of mixed enjoyment involved a communal homestay where all 12 of our group slept in one room in a homestay in the village of Mai Chau. 

While I could impress the girls by comparing it to my backpacking days, we were all quite glad that this was our only night without our own rooms.

7. Enjoy stepping out of the mum-teen matrix.

There were many high points on the trip, from the friendliness of the locals to the exhilaration of exploring a new country again. But an unexpected highlight for me was breaking out of the everyday mum/teenager dynamic for a while. 

At home in Sydney, we see each other in little snatches of time, like a quick chat at dinner or in the car. It’s also a bit like Groundhog Day as you bark out the same instructions you’ve yelled for years (clean your room, bring down your dirty clothes...).

This trip replaced all of that with a gift of stretchy holiday time - where you have hours to just enjoy where you are and who you are with. No chores for anyone, just one fun thing after another. 

The last night of the tour captured this joy perfectly. Our group had dinner (with a kids' table and adults' table) and then we wandered through the old town of Hoi An together. 

The air was syrupy and warm, and strings of lanterns in every possible colour swayed gently from boats and buildings. 

Music drifted over from a few bar singers, mixed with calls from street vendors and the occasional, random blast of techno. 

We wandered along laughing as we bought souvenirs and tested out dry ice ice-cream balls and Nutella pancakes from the many stalls dotting the area. 

We were having a ball, together.

The holiday reviewed in this post was paid for by the writer. The opinions expressed in this post are her own.

Feature Image: Supplied.