Years ago when I was considering a career change, I had the great fortune of working for a while in the community sector. I was studying counselling and I worked as a case manager in a not-for-profit service providing accommodation for homeless men and their children.
Homeless men always evoke images of ancient, wrinkled men in soiled clothing, sitting on street corners. But of course, homelessness is far more complex than the stereotypes. These were men who had fallen on difficult times and when they became homeless, so did the children in their care.
Some of the dads were full-time carers. Others only had part-time care. And that’s part of the reason the service was born. To make sure these dads didn’t lose their children because they had fallen on hard times.
I say I was fortunate because not everyone is lucky enough to deal closely with people who are going through some of the most difficult times in their life. Homelessness is one of these. Losing your children – or being on the brink of it – is another.
I worked with women too. Some had drug problems or had lost their children because they failed to leave abusive partners. I remember one woman almost daring me to judge her for smoking cigarettes while heavily pregnant. She had quit heroin for the sake of her baby. She told me she was doing the best she could.
Some parents had issues with drugs, many struggled with a lack of education, some had been abused when they were young, some were perpetrators or victims of domestic violence, most were poor, almost all had made bad choices.