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I think threesomes are due for a comeback this year. Let me tell you why.
We can all agree that boomer monogamy feels a little uncool these days. Most of us want to be more open-minded than that. But I think we can also start calling it what it is: we want the freedom to explore without the fear of losing our partner in the process.
We don't want "ethical non-monogamy", because what even is that? To me, it often feels like a deflection, or code for not knowing what you want. But we do want space to continue exploring the sexual sides of ourselves, and sometimes that involves other people.
So how do you do that while staying committed?
Easy! Have a threesome.
I gave my partner a threesome for his birthday about a year ago, and it became one of the best sexual experiences we've had as a couple.
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I was nervous at first.
I'd only ever been the "unicorn" third before, never part of the couple.
I worried about all the predictable things: that he'd be more into her than me, that I'd feel sidelined, that I'd see a sexual side of him that would make me question what we had. What if he looks different when he's having sex with her? Does he want me to be more like that? If so, why hasn't he told me? What else don't I know about his desires?
But none of those fears came true. If anything, the threesome made us more aligned and secure.
No one tells you how hot it is to see your partner kiss someone else. I think part of it is that when you love someone, watching them experience pleasure feels good to you. But there's also something validating about seeing someone else respond positively to the person you chose.
I imagine it must be like dating a successful musician and watching them up on stage, or something. Like getting a real kick out of watching people cheer for them. Like, that's my guy! I felt that same high watching my boyfriend going down on my friend. She loved it, and that felt… affirming.
There was something else, too.
My partner and I have a sexual and emotional connection that feels distinct from anything else I've experienced, and the threesome confirmed that. Let me explain.
He was enjoying himself with her, absolutely. But it was very different to how he responded to me, even in that moment. The energy between us was still uniquely ours, and I could feel it, even mid-threesome. She commented on it too, our third in the threesome, and it was a really special moment — like having a witness to our connection. It made it even more real?
Honestly, I wouldn't have believed that a threesome with your partner and someone else could be so affirming and like, spiritual? But it totally was. It was also so grounding to see that the intimacy my boyfriend and I share doesn't evaporate just because someone else enters the room.
All of this is to say: having a threesome is far less complicated than we're led to believe. I think if you go into a threesome wanting it to be uncomplicated, it often can be. Whether you're single or partnered.
I don't know why threesomes still carry such a heavy taboo. Maybe it's because jealousy and power are so tangled up with how we measure our worth in sex and relationships. Maybe it's because letting another person in means relinquishing some control. But I'd argue that's exactly where the fulfilment lives, in the excitement and vulnerability of the unknown.
And let's not forget: you can have a threesome as a single person too. With friends. With another couple. With the person you're seeing and someone totally new. Threesomes are these glorious, chaotic, sexy little cocktails of energy and chemistry where the usual rules loosen, and we get to really play.
The cultural messaging around threesomes has done us no favours.
The whole "three's a crowd", or someone always getting booted off the bed in a rom-com hasn't made them feel inclusive. It's always framed as an ambitious idea that inevitably ends in jealousy, disaster, or awkward silence, that someone will always be the odd one out. And I think that narrative has planted a lot of unnecessary fear because, in my experience, that's just not how it goes.
Lately, I've been reading sexy magazines from the early '90s, publications obsessed with art, sex, subculture and freedom… and I honestly think we've lost some of that spirit.
Despite claiming to be more open to sexual discourse than ever before, there was a boldness and freedom then, that I don't see in mainstream culture today. It's made me feel like we need to bring that energy back.
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Bring back inviting two people home instead of one. Bring back leaving a party with a couple. Bring back holiday flings that exist in throuples for a few steamy days and then dissolve into a hot memory.
There's something so integral about experiencing different dynamics, bodies, personalities, energies… all at the same time, especially if you're a person who wants to learn more about yourself through sex. It teaches you what you're drawn to. What you're comfortable with. Where your boundaries actually sit, not where you think they should. And culturally, the timing feels right for this kind of challenge.
I have a feeling 2026 is going to be a very single year. Break-ups. Recalibrations. People opting out of chasing "The One." More women choosing self-connection over settling and more questioning traditional relationship timelines in general.
If that's the emotional landscape we're moving into, then threesomes make sense to me. A natural extension of people choosing adventurous exploration over going home for an early night cap.
I think threesomes could be our gateway back to finding pleasure fun again. Some of my best nights have been spontaneous ones. And I don't know about you, but I have no desire to sit at home endlessly negotiating relationship rulebooks — who's allowed to kiss who, what's allowed to happen, who's allowed to be present for it.
I think it might be time to return to some good old-fashioned let's see where the night takes us energy. More room for possibility to enter ordinary moments and turn them into something unexpected.
So go on, have a threesome.
Feature Image: Instagram/@lauraroscioli
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