It’s not every weekday you find yourself in a room full of crazed, semi-naked women. Silvio Berlusconi notwithstanding. There I was this week at the Sass & Bide warehouse sale surrounded by half-naked women of all ages, sizes and nationalities frantically trying on clothes. It was a bit like a Dove ad on acid.
Dramatically increasing the level of difficulty was my three year old son who I’d brought along for reasons I can no longer remember. Unlike everyone else, my son was not naked and not happy, something he insisted on stating loudly every 11 seconds no matter how patiently I reminded him that we were spending quality time together. And could he please stop spilling juice on the large pile of clothes Mummy hasn’t tried on yet. Yes I know the clothes are on the floor but they’re not for sitting on. Now where are my pants?
I stopped going to warehouse sales more than five years ago when I left magazines and my relationship with fashion cooled. Earlier this year however, I spent some social time with Sarah-Jane Clarke (Sass) and Heidi Middleton (and Bide) at the Melbourne launch of the new Range Rover Evoque (we’re all ambassadors). There, I fell in love with their aesthetic all over again and quickly developed a crippling Sass & Bide addiction. So when I received the sale email, I jumped, right after roping in Paula who, as a fashion journalist and one of the most stylish women I know, would be able to guide me through the chaos.
Let me set the scene for you. It was pouring with rain as we stood outside the warehouse waiting for the doors to open. I was carrying an umbrella and a three year old while desperately trying to sell in this exciting adventure in retail. “Mummy is going to try on some lovely clothes and it’s going to be great!” I enthused. Good luck with that.