'I just got engaged. Here are 8 surprising things that I didn't know would happen.'

Listen to this story being read by Charlotte Begg, here. 

A couple of months ago I had my movie moment and got engaged to my now FIANCÉ! 

He took me on a walk... in the rain... wearing emergency ponchos... and sang me the cringiest song he could muster - Frankie Valli's 'Can’t Take My Eyes Off You' (the 10 Things I Hate About You version) - before getting down on one knee and asking, "Will you marry me?"

The moment we got engaged. Image: Supplied.

Immediately, there was a surge of excitement, love and happiness. But in the weeks following, the anxiety, stress and overwhelm slowly crept in.

Here are eight surprising things I didn’t realise would happen after my engagement.

1. All people care about is the ring.

The likelihood of a ring fitting perfectly is slim to none. And unfortunately for me, that meant when I got engaged, I almost ended up in hospital.

So when your ring is at the jeweller and your engagement post is a swollen red finger, it becomes absurdly apparent how the only thing anyone cares about when you get engaged is the ring.

Yep. Image: Supplied.

2. We immediately fell into the wedding planning world. 

The day of my engagement, I was asked if we had picked a date. The day of!

In the weeks that followed some of the commentary I experienced included: "Have you organised your dress fitting?" 

"Have you organised your venue?" 

"Are you sure that’s the type of wedding you want?"

Yes, admittedly the wedding backlog of COVID-19 has meant that planning a wedding requires so much more forward planning than pre-COVID. But it will get organised, and it will be on my own time. 

The unsolicited advice about wedding planning is the next level. Everyone, please relax. It's my wedding, not yours. 

3. The politics started immediately.

Weddings are an event that bring lots of different people together, which in turn, equates to lots of drama.

I’m having seven bridesmaids, and my fiancé's having seven groomsmen. That's 14 people - enough to play a full game of netball!

But still, everyone's complaining that I didn't choose them to be a part of the bridal party. Then, the people I asked to do other roles, complained about them.

Between organising the wedding itself and all the events in the lead up, the decisions around the locations and décor and the guest list - oh goodness, the guest list - it feels like everyone has an opinion, and everyone is more than comfortable to tell you about it. 

How much do Aussies spend on their wedding? Watch this to find out.

4. Money is all I can think about. 

My partner and I are still establishing ourselves financially. We have goals to buy a house and would also love to travel a bit in the next few years. 

But everything costs money. And weddings cost a next level amount of money. 

It seems like when flowers become "wedding flowers" or a DJ becomes a "wedding DJ" they are suddenly charging five times the price.

We are going to have a very financially savvy wedding - nothing flashy, but nothing flashy is still an absurd amount of money.  

The financial pressures associated with a wedding are insane. I feel guilty ordering a coffee on my office days or splurging on the 'good brand' of orange juice in the weekly shop.

And now I have a 2024 deadline on my savings with all of my friends and family watching. 

5. Apparently, I’m too young to be getting married.

I know I am young by Australian standards to be engaged. I'm 22 and my fiancé is 26. 

But it's a decision I get to make, and not one anyone should be commenting on. But people still do.

I've had responses to my engagement news including: "What? But you're a baby!"

"Oh my goodness, I can’t imagine that. You don’t really know yourself until you are 30." 

"Wait, aren’t you only 22?"

Again, no one should feel comfortable enough to freely and openly judge someone for their decision making. 

I love my fiancé and I want to marry him. I was lucky enough to find him at a younger age, and that is okay. If you have an opinion, please keep it to yourself. 

Image: Supplied.

6. I’m not the main character.

When I've told people about the engagement, the conversation usually includes being asked how he did it and to see the ring. That lasts a couple of minutes. 

Then I hear how their partner proposed, or how they hope their partner will propose, or how they can't wait for the day they get proposed to.

I have learnt that everyone is the main character in their mind. And their attention span and ability to celebrate someone else usually lasts about two seconds.

7. Saying 'fiancé' is weird.

The first time you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, getting the words "my boyfriend" or "my girlfriend" out of your mouth is difficult, unnatural. 

So is saying fiancé. Fiancé. Fiancé. Fiancé. 

It took me a while to start referring to my partner as my fiancé. It felt a little pretentious.

8. The urge to elope is REAL.

I don’t have the capacity to add anything else to my plate. Between the politics, the money, the organisation, the chaos and the concept of actually having a wedding, it's a lot.

I'm not going to lie - I have been guilty of googling the Kravis and J-Lo anti-weddings. It's so tempting.

I'm torn between 'just getting it done' and having the big wedding I would love. For the moment, the plan is the big wedding, but I really understand that pull to just go to city hall. 

Did I miss anything? What surprising things happened after you got engaged? Let me know in the comments!

Feature Image: Supplied.

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