Why does being pregnant mean you're all of a sudden public property?

Discussing my baby, my placenta and my vagina is not okay.

There are so many things that you have to deal with as a pregnant woman. Swollen feet, peeing every five seconds and constant criticism from women who have ‘been there and done that’.  Why do other people think once there’s a tiny human inside of you, your body and your pregnancy are open for their commentary?

When I was pregnant it seemed that everywhere I went, someone was giving me their opinion on what I should do, what I should eat and how often I should exercise.

I tried to appreciate that these women were just trying to help. That was, until they started telling me how to give birth. My favourite was, “Don’t be a hero. Take the drugs.”

Why did it suddenly become acceptable to these women to discuss my baby, my placenta and even my vagina at work and in public?

And why do women insist of telling you their own birth horror stories when the birth of your child is imminent? That was the last thing I wanted to hear.

How anyone could think that their “horrible experience” and graphic story telling would be beneficial to a soon-to-be-mum is beyond me. All it did was scare the crap out of me.

I started to become terrified of what was coming and wondering if I would have to endure what they did. Bleeding out? Emergency caesareans? Epidural only working on one side? The list went on and on and got progressively scarier.

Eventually I’d had enough; I wanted my birthing experience to be the absolute opposite and wanted to be an advocate for women who were determined birth could be amazing.

So I decided to do a Calm Birthing course. Are you rolling your eyes? Don’t worry, when I told friends and family they all did the same. Other mothers would scoff and say “not possible to have a calm birth, sorry.” (They weren’t sorry).

I did it anyway, and I am so grateful I did. I went into birth with a new frame of mind. I was positive and felt powerful. I put faith in my body and my mind and moments after giving birth I said to my husband “I would do that again.”

It doesn’t matter whether I had a natural birth, a pain-control assisted birth, a caesarean or a-bit-of- everything birth. That’s all beside the point. The point was to have a miraculous and confident birthing experience, and that’s exactly what I did.

No future mum I meet will ever hear a horror story from me. Those stories will make these women second guess their abilities and head into labour anxious and worried of what’s to come. I don’t want to take away their confidence in themselves and the belief that birth can be incredible.

Giving birth is the most amazing thing you will ever do. And despite the option I chose, you don’t need to do a calm birthing course to be strong and confident heading into labour. You just need to believe in yourself and your body.

You can be in control and you can have a beautiful birth.

Yes, it’s damn hard and testing, but it’s absolutely worthwhile.

Did you feel like public property when you were pregnant?

CLICK THROUGH the gallery for everything happening from Week 1 to Week 18 in your pregnancy.

Like this? Try these: 

"Why isn't anyone offering me, the pregnant lady, a seat on the bus?"

"Dear super fit pregnant women, shut up."