"I was sort of cool. Then I became a mum."

By LUCY KIPPIST

I’ve become a bit embarrassing.

Motherhood has changed my fashion and lifestyle choices.

Once upon a time I would discuss fashionable type things.

(DISCLAIMER: I am not and have never been a glamorous person. My fashion and beauty aspirations are elementary at best and include being able to apply eye-liner and wear high heels without dragging the lower half of my body behind me).

But alas, even the most modest nod to the “en-trend” have regrettably bid me adieu.

So in the spirit of being completely transparent, here is a list (to-date) of all the sins I’ve committed against fashion and good taste since becoming a mum.

Ahem.

1. I love Tupperware. And not in an ironic way.

2. I wear Bonds running socks with reinforced toes every single day. Even with normal shoes.

3. Three-in-one facial wash and two-in-one shampoo have become bathroom non-negotiables.

4. IKEA = Bauhaus.

5. Jeans are dressing up. Anything that’s not a t-shirt is ‘making an effort’.

6. Two years ago we bought a really expensive sofa that was my pride and joy. It’s now permanently draped in an old sheet to protect it from thrills and spills. Emphasis on spills.

7. I no longer use a handbag, it’s just a nappy bag with my wallet, phone, keys and lip balm stuffed in the top.

8.Target is my favourite shop.

9. Most of my pants are stretchy. Leggings are official day-wear and not just for the gym.

10. I have baby wipes and hand sanitation liquid in – but not limited – to: the car glove box, my handbag, the pram. I make a point of offering these around at any opportunity.

11. I regularly purchase three different kinds of wool-wash, including a specific one for the baby’s sheep skin rug.

12. I wear Birkenstocks. I bought them especially for wearing from the laundry to the clothesline, so I could still wear my socks (see #2).

13. I own and only wear flannelette pyjamas.

14. All visitors to our house are explained the finer points of a new baby gate that is not the more othordox (and inferior) rail version, but a screen.

15. A spotty, plastic mug sits inside the cutlery drawer containing 700 baby spoons in a variety of colours. They must be upright at all times.

16. Setting the table for dinner means clearing the high-chair tray, mail and fruit bowl out of the way.

17. Apple TV = gamechanger.

Am I alone? Have you recently become a parent? What’s your worst fashion crime?