The unwritten rules of a school-parent relationship.

Your relationship with your child’s school is one of the most important relationships of your parenting life. It’s also one of the most delicate. I think of my relationship with my children’s school as a bit like dating. There are many unwritten rules you need to figure out as quickly as you can and then never, ever break them. Or if you break them, make sure you apologise profusely and further express your regret by investing in an extra-expensive Christmas gift for the principal.

Here are my unwritten rules of a school-parent relationship.

Never discuss a school issue outside of school grounds.

The rule I follow when we see a teacher or school staff outside of school grounds is to only let them take the lead. If they make eye contact or call out hello, do the same. If they bury their faces in their hands and try and get the hell out of there, let them do a runner. If they seem up for a chat and a coffee, pay for it.

Be an over-thanker, even when they are just doing their jobs.

Managing the needs and emotions of hundreds of students and their families can be a thankless task like no other, so become an over-thanker. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! You can't thank them enough. It won't result in your child receiving special treatment or anything crazy like that but it will certainly leave them open to assisting you further in the future if they know their efforts are appreciated.

Don't bring baggage to the relationship.

Every single teacher at your child's school obtained a university degree to qualify them for the role and continue their training for the duration of their careers. You don't know better than they do when it comes to educating your children. When discussing my children's specific issues I find it useful to ask for their advice, for example 'what can I do at home to support what you are doing in the classroom?

Don't take everything personally. It's rarely personal.

Schools are not deliberately trying to mess with, even when it seems as though they are. There are way too many children at each school for them to organise a conspiracy against little old you. Always assume the best when it comes to school interactions.

Not everyone is cut out to be a school volunteer.

I tried to be a school volunteer for a few years and it wasn't for me. I tended to do too much for the wrong reasons instead of just doing my part for the betterment of my children's school experience. If volunteering is something you enjoy doing then go for it but be firm about your limits. During your volunteer time, enjoy yourself and then go home.

Don't call or email too much.

It's okay to be an overly-involved parent (like me!) but it's not okay to micro-manage your child's school experience. Trust the school you have chosen. They've got this. If you have issues to discuss, organise a meeting instead of calling and emailing repeatedly.

Do you have any unwritten school/parent rules you think should be added to this list?