Did this book shape your childhood? Apparently it's why we all need therapy.

There are some children's books that just stay with you. The Hungry Little Caterpillar, Peter Rabbit and, of course, The Rainbow Fish.

The latter is one of the most magical books on the shelf, partially because the fish has these amazing glittering foil scales built into the illustration.

However, it is also a book with a message, about learning to share, about a proud fish, born with plentiful beautiful scales, who ended up giving them away to other fish who didn't have any.

However, psychologists are starting to cancel The Rainbow Fish online, claiming that it perpetuates 'people pleasing' rather than sharing.

If you can't remember the plot of The Rainbow Fish, don't worry. We're going to walk you through it, as well as the discourse online that is causing controversy.

What is The Rainbow Fish about?

The Rainbow Fish gives away his sparkly scales to fish who don't have any. Image: The Rainbow Fish

The Rainbow Fish follows the story of the "most beautiful fish in the entire ocean".

He was born with scales that are every shade of blue, green and purple, as well as silver sparkling scales that glitter as he swims.

Rainbow Fish is proud, however. He doesn't deign to play with the other fishes and simply swims right past "proud, silent, letting his scales shimmer."

One day, a little blue fish asks for just one scale. Rainbow Fish refuses (rather rudely with a 'who do you think you are?'), and the upset little blue fish tells all his friends. They agree to ignore Rainbow Fish, and he becomes a social outcast.

Rainbow Fish is sad that the others don't admire him anymore and goes to visit a wise Octopus who says, ""Give a glittering scale to each of the other fish. You will no longer be the most beautiful fish in the sea, but you will discover how to be happy."

"Give away my scales, my beautiful shining scales… how could I ever be happy without them?" Rainbow Fish wonders.

When the little blue fish asks again, Rainbow Fish finally obliges. He is happy to see the little blue fish happy. Soon, the other fish in the sea come to ask if they can have a scale, and soon Rainbow Fish gives away all his scales except for one.

"The more he gave away, the more delighted he became. When the water around him was filled with glittering scales, he at last felt at home," the tale reads. 

Rainbow Fish is a story about sharing, right?

The octoptus tells the Rainbow Fish that he will be happy if he shares his scales. Image: The Rainbow Fish.

The story of the Rainbow Fish is an allegory, for banishing ego and considering others before ourselves. The fish learnt to have a giving mindset, and to care about those around him. 

However, psychologist influencers online have taken a look back at The Rainbow Fish in 2024, and claim that it goes too far. 

Rather than 'sharing' and 'giving' they say that it perpetuates 'people pleasing'. 

"POV does anyone else think it's wild how we grew up with stories that basically taught us to people-please, have no boundaries, and now we're spending years unlearning it?" psychologist Caroline Middelsdorf said in the Instagram Reel.

She goes on to re-explain the story with a broader view: that the Rainbow Fish was thriving in his skin with his beautiful scales. 

When the little blue fish asks for a scale, Rainbow Fish was within his rights to say no without risking becoming a social pariah. 

To make matters worse, once society rejects him for maintaining his boundaries, he visits the Octopus, who tells him that he will be happier to see everyone else happy around him, rather than maintain his own beauty. 

"Rainbow Fish now has to make a choice: does he set a boundary and keep his scales? Or does he cave and give into the pressure?" Middelsdorf says. 

Of course, in the book, giving away parts of himself to others does fill Rainbow Fish's heart with happiness, but Middelsdorf questions this. 

"The story ends, and Rainbow Fish has been pressured into giving away what he loves most about himself in order to please others."

"For millennials, who were raised on stories like this, it's no wonder we struggle with boundaries and burnout."

She goes further into detail in the post's caption. 

"It might seem like a sweet children's book, but it quietly teaches the idea that you have to give away parts of yourself — your uniqueness, your boundaries — to be loved," she says. 

"You almost get shamed for being different?!. It's the kind of messaging that can stick with you, leading to people-pleasing, self-doubt, and a fear of saying no — to be abandoned or negatively judged."

She claims that the book teaches children to believe their value "depends on how much you do for others", and that it's easy to lose yourself in the process of keeping everyone else happy. 

Listen to this episode of This Glorious Mess on gentle parenting. Post continues below.

Not everyone agrees. 

Middelsdorf's take on The Rainbow Fish has gone viral, with many agreeing that it reflects the outdated notion that people pleasing is a good thing. 

One commenter shared, "The minute the other fish started bad mouthing the original fish for not giving what he was born with is when this became abusive… that is actually teaching how it's ok to be emotionally manipulative to get what you want."

However, others criticised Middelsdorf's interpretation of the storyline. 

"The message is different in the original. The Rainbow Fish is incredibly cocky and self-absorbed, thinking he is above everyone else for his beauty alone," they wrote. 

"To cut this short, the actual message is that beauty is to be found in every "fish" and the willingness to share it, doesn't dull your own sparkle."

Another agreed, "I think y'all are overthinking this. This book is meant to teach kids how to share, which is an essential life skill. Have you ever been around a little kid who can't share…ya it's not fun."

We can't help but agree that some of the Rainbow Fish's more negative and narcissistic traits are skimmed over in Middelsdorf's interpretation. 

Others agreed with Middelsdorf to an extent, but thought that another medium should have been used in the allegory for sharing, rather than 'beauty' through 'scales'. 

"The strange thing about this story is that the fish gave away a piece of itself to others against its will, under social pressure. Children are very literal; I think it would have been more appropriate if the fish had distributed food or something external, not part of its own body. This implies that a child needs to "hurt" themselves to please others and be accepted," one wrote. 

Then, of course, there were a few rogue interpretations, including that the scales are a metaphor for 'goods and services' being shared, like in communist governments. "I've always thought this book was about communism," one wrote. 

Of course, it's clear to see that there are a lot of interpretations of The Rainbow Fish and not one hard and fast way to take the storyline and the message. 

We can probably all agree that the book is designed to promote sharing, and whether or not it does such a good job of that or it teeters into people pleasing territory is in the eye of the beholder.

Watch the full video here.

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Featured image: The Rainbow Fish.