Surprise! You can now buy a toaster for your favourite porn star.

By MAMAMIA TEAM

A (cardboard) medieval castle. A blue, backless jumpsuit. Glitter lip applications. Sequin booty shorts. A scarf holder. A measuring cup.

You’d be forgiven for believing that the above items are the ones remaining in the bargain-hunters bin at your local shop after all the decent DVDs and pairs of cotton socks have been snatched up.

But no, they are not. They are all items that are part of Farrah Abraham’s Amazon wishlist.

You might recognise Farrah Abraham‘s name if you’ve ever googled anything to do with anal sex and teenage mothers (as you do).

She’s an MTV Teen Mom star with a four-year-old daughter who made a sex tape called Backdoor Teen Mom with famous porn actor James Deen. Get it? Backdoor? Because anal? It’s ALL class up in here.

(PS: If you would like to read a detailed account of the sex tape, you can go here. Mia watched the whole thing and it made her extremely sad. PPS. We do not typically spend a large proportion of work days watching sex tapes, just FYI. This one time was an exception).

Anyway, Farrah Abraham is now technically a porn star. And she has taken part in something which many porn stars, escorts and strippers like to do: She has created an Amazon wishlist so that her fans can buy her items that she likes. Presumably this is for the purpose of fans being able to proudly think “Oh Porn Star X will love toasting a bagel on this sandwich press after a steamy session,” or “Perhaps I’ll see the adorable cushion I bought Porn Star Y feature in his next video escapade”.

Farrah regularly updates the list; at the time of writing this, it’s largely just glitter lip appliques and the blue jumpsuit. But previous lists have included rather practical items – a coffee table, a bookcase, a sofa, an Apple TV – as well as the completely ridiculous, such as a Superwoman costume and two chandeliers.

The saddest part, as Jezebel points out, is that Farrah also included a $52 crib mattress and $12 mattress cover for her daughter in one list: “It’s like, either keep your kid out of your weird sugar daddy arrangements or at the very least, get her the good, expensive shit.”

There are many other porn star wishlists also on Amazing.

Alexis Texas, also known as “Buttwoman” (must keep straight face. must keep straight face) has one that asks for yoga pants in various colours, a vaccuum cleaner and an anti-gravity recline chair. Belladonna requests an edible chocolate anus, sweatpants and a set of Russian nesting dolls. Aurora Snow would like ugg boots, a food dehydrator and some cat earrings.

We actually couldn’t make this sh*t up if we tried.

The entire concept of the Amazon wishlist is that, if you would really like to, you can purchase these items and they will get sent directly to the porn star.

And then you can live on in creepiness happiness knowing that you bought a porn star’s couch and that they’re probably sitting on it RIGHT NOW. In yoga pants, that someone else bought them.

Drinking the coffee made by the coffee machine that someone else bought them. (You get the picture.)

Frankly, we find the entire concept bizarre. Who would actually fork out their hard-earned cash for such a thing? Does it make people feel good about themselves?

Does it make them feel emotionally connected to the porn stars? Does it make them believe that the porn star owes them something? We don’t understand, but we’re entirely open to suggestions and explanations.

And why isn’t it a thing for, say, normal celebrities? MM Rogue editor Rosie wouldn’t buy a toaster for Jenna Jameson but she would buy one for Conan O’Brien in a heartbeat. “If I knew that Conan would look at the toaster that I bought him EVERY DAY, that would actually make my life,” she told us. Okay.

But although we don’t quite understand the porn star wishlist, we’d like to make a suggestion: why not extend the wishlist concept to be popular amongst writers? We don’t earn nearly as much as porn stars and we’d all appreciate a couple of little things thrown our way.

Nat would really like a Thermomix. Lucy is in need of a new couch. Jamila wants most of Zimmerman’s Spring 2013 collection. Nicky would accept anything – she really just likes free things – but specifically the Alexander Wang Rocco textured leather bag.

If you feel like sponsoring any of the above items… you know where to find us. *Porn not included.

What do you think of the porn star wishlist phenomenon? And what would be on your wishlist?

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