'I used to wonder why some people left my life. Then I learned about the "last meeting theory."'

I used to wonder why some people just disappeared from my life. Not in a dramatic, falling-out kind of way; just a slow fade.

I don't mean casual friends or acquaintances, but the ones who mattered. The ones who shaped who I am in ways I didn't even realise at the time. And then, one day, they were just gone.

I've been lucky that most of my childhood friends have stuck around. But there are some friendships that — no matter how much we tried to hold on — just couldn't withstand the way our lives evolved.

There's one person in particular who still crosses my mind. They taught me how to be more independent, how to loosen up and not take life so seriously. And, perhaps most importantly, how to be more fashionable.

Watch: The 'Let Them' theory by Mel Robbins. Post continues after video.

At one point, we were inseparable and spent every day together. And then, slowly, we didn't.

There wasn't a fight or any bad blood. It was just life. Different priorities, different routines, different versions of ourselves that no longer fit together as effortlessly as before. We tried to keep in touch, and for a while, we did. But the gaps between conversations stretched longer and longer.

About a year later, we decided to catch up. As I got ready for the night, I had no idea it would be the last time we would see each other.

I won't lie and say it was "just like old times". It had been a while, and we'd grown apart. But we filled each other in on all the milestones we had missed; the good, the bad, and the mundane. We spoke late into the night, shared an Uber, then said goodbye.

That was it. We never really spoke again.

For a long time, I struggled. Why didn't we keep in touch? Why didn't we try harder? Did I do something wrong? Did they? Was I supposed to reach out? I had so many questions that didn't seem to have answers. Then I came across the 'Last Meeting Theory'.

Popularised on TikTok, the Last Meeting Theory is the idea that once you and someone else have fulfilled your purpose in each other's lives, once you have learnt what you were meant to learn and experienced what you were meant to experience, the universe ensures you never truly reconnect.

It's not a punishment or a failure. It's just the natural conclusion of that relationship's role in your story.

"The Last Meeting Theory is a very spiritual way of looking at relationships," psychologist Carly Dober told Mamamia. "And [of] getting closure, which is not a given when a relationship ends.

"This can be helpful when people genuinely have no need or desire to see the other person ever again — and if they don't put too much stock in the theory and don't push this as a universal rule on others."

It makes sense. Our brains crave explanations, patterns, meaning. When someone important fades from our life, we want to know why. Spiritually, it ties into ideas of divine timing, soul contracts, and the belief that certain people are meant to enter (and exit) our lives at exactly the right moment.

"It can be unhelpful when people place too much importance on what could be a chance meeting, and then find themselves ruminating on what could have been, or what could have been done differently," said Dober.

"Ultimately — while psychologically it mightn't be valid, and I wouldn't promote this theory — for some people it can be helpful."

And, look, I'm not the most spiritual person, but there is something oddly reassuring about framing past relationships in this way. If anything, just for closure's sake. The alternative is obsessing over the 'what if's' or harbouring resentment.

I always subscribed to Brian A. Drew Chalker's idea that "some friends are for a season, and some are for a reason". But the Last Meeting Theory goes deeper and suggests that though their roles are temporary, these "seasonal friends" still have a reason, and they still leave behind an impact.

Not everyone buys into the theory, and I don't think it's a one-size-fits-all answer. Some friendships do fizzle out for mundane reasons; distance, miscommunication, life getting in the way. Not every relationship has a poetic 'final meeting.'

For instance, I don't think my kindergarten boyfriend taught me anything other than how to make a Play-Doh snake. You were a real one, Jesse.

But I do appreciate the intent of the theory. In fact, it reminds me of something else I learnt in kindergarten, this time from Dr Seuss.

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

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