fashion

Stop what you are doing. The Iconic is selling a vagina dress and we can't look away.

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS.

OH.

MY.

GOD.

It’s… It’s a vagina. The Iconic – AKA the home of online Christmas shopping – is selling a VAGINA.

Actually, in the interests of specificity, The Iconic is selling a vagina dress… but still. I scrolled past it briefly, and now I’m seeing little black dots everywhere.

You want to see what the vagina dress looks like, don’t you? Ya filthy animals.

Okay, I’ll show you. You should be warned, though. Warned and ever so slightly afraid. You’re about to stare directly into a cervix comprising 55 per cent linen and 45 per cent cotton, and that’s quite a lot to handle on a Saturday.

Ready?

Here we go…

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THIS IS NOT A DRESS THIS IS A VAGINA. (Image: The Iconic)

On the site, this Isla dress is described as "avant-garde" and "push[ing] the limits of modern fashion". 

UM, YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT PUSHES THE LIMITS, GUYS.

If you listen to the ~fashun people~ this is not a giant vag (um, it is) but instead "reminiscent of the most romantic flower, the rose, both in colour and shape".

I just... I can't.

I have quite a few thoughts about this, erm, creation.

1. Can we labia-by it?

2. What was the reason for this created in a pinky, fleshy tone? Don't give me this "dusty pink" flower lie, this is VAGINA COLOUR.

3. Pls explain how this even remotely looks like a "rose". Was there any chance a switcheroo took place, and the designers thought they were looking at a rose, but were actually looking at a gigantic vag? Serious question.

4. I wonder what was going through this model's head when she was told to dress up as a part of the female anatomy.

5. I wonder if she went home and called her mum to tell her she wore a vagina that day.

6. I haven't lost the plot, have I? I'm not blind, or really dirty, right? This really does look like a human woman lady's vagina.

7. I need to lie down.

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