Mamamia recaps The Golden Bachelor: Nothing says romance like a prostate exam.

Welcome back to another edition of The Golden Bachelor. And look, it got weird again.

But I digress! It's another beautiful day to be a gorgeous Goldie living in a mega mansion on the side of a cliff.

The women are doing water aerobics in the pool — floral swimcaps and all — because reminder: these women are not young (we get it).

Then it's wham bam, thank you Sam. Our hostest with the mostest is here to invite Terri on a Luna Park date at dusk.

La Ren is thrilled for her friend.

*Seethes in Paris Olympics* Image: Nine.

In a confessional, Terri opened up about wanting to bring down the walls she built from her ex-husband moving on.

Bear and Terri take a spin around the ferris wheel and whirl around a rollercoaster. It's a bit cute! I'm actually quite into this couple!

Bear tries to show he's a big strong man and he's terrible. Terri is much better. She wins a giant teddy bear to match her real-life Bear boyfriend.

She speaks about her husband being unfaithful in their marriage, which has given her the drive to ensure trust is in her next relationship.

She is looking for love, but she doesn't want to be her man's mum. Terri drops some iconic wisdom: "I don't want to be a nurse or a purse to any person." Damn straight.

Terri the Grey, tell me all your secrets!! Image: Nine.

I want to be Terri when I grow up. She gets a rose (and a DM from me to be my life coach.)

Bear drops by to force the women to participate in a charity gala to raise funds for the Cancer Council.

The women share their stories of being touched by cancer. Sunny opens up about being diagnosed with breast cancer in her past.

WE ARE ALL CRYING.

The women have to perform in front of a bunch of Nine personalities, including Jules and Cam Merchant from MAFS, Angie Kent, Richard Wilkins and David Campbell.

Bianca announces she has done a number of 'nervous poos'. Lovely!

"Chookers!" Bear announced to a confused group of women who think he's just called them a slur.

Former Bachelorette Angie advises Bear to "pick someone who is your best friend — not the person you want to sleep with the most."

Angie's winner Carlin found dead. Lmao.

'But hopefully, you do want to root them too.' Image: Nine.

Iconic.

Bear meets Laura's daughter, you may have heard of her: Aussie princess, Abbie Chatfield.

"You've got an accent?" she asks, before being relieved that Bear was Canadian and not American.

"Jesus Christ, can you imagine?" Lol. Abbie heckles Bear over why he hasn't been on a date with her mum. This is the content we want.

And it's showtime!

Jan, Janette and Catherine do an aerobics class to Olivia Newton-John's 'Physical'. They thrust their hips in the air with wild abandon for cancer! It's hot!

Dr Kim and Nurse Katrina conduct a prostate exam on Bear… on the stage.

"Pass the lube, nurse!" Kim demands. Bear is scared and so am I.

'Hello darkness, my old friend…' Image: Nine.

Thankfully, no one gets their dick out as Kim confirms that prostate tests can be done with a blood test.

La Ren then brings out a big bird. I still don't know why.

The macaw climbs on La Ren's shoulders, she closes her eyes and wishes she was at the Paris Olympics instead.

Then the bird invokes the gospel of Nelly Furtado. Like a bird, it only flies away. The Nine celebs scream as this unhinged parrot swoops around the room and gnaws at the room's decorative flowers. For cancer!

'This would never happen at the Paris Olympics…' Image: Nine.

Sunny and Elizete do a nondescript dance together before Sunny takes the mic to share her cancer survivor story. A star is born.

The gala raised over $10,000 for Cancer Council.

At the cocktail party, Bianca starts shouting 'YOLO' at the women, as the group decides not to wear high heels for the evening — they literally throw their shoes in the air like they just don't care.

Bear is greeted by a bunch of barefoot women in formal wear. He's basically any woman entering the girls' bathroom in a club at 3am on a Friday night.

He grabs Sunny first to praise her for opening up at the gala. They share a sweet moment and a kissy kiss.

Perfect woman, no notes.

Petition to make Sunny make all my decisions. Image: Nine.

La Ren is freaking out about going home when Bear grabs her for a chat about her confusing bird act. "Animals keep stealing my limelight!" she rages. She tells Bear she wants to 'unpack him' and then asks what he wants 'out of a woman'.

Elizete and Katrina are getting irritated by La Ren and… say more, gals. This is the conflict this season desperately needs.

At the rose ceremony, La Ren snags a rose but Abbie's mum Laura and Katrina both get dumped. Rude!

We've lost a couple of real ones tonight. Not happy, Jan! Although Jan is happy because she got a rose. (This show is confusing)

Anyways, stay golden, my gals!

Feature image: Nine.