By KELLIE CONNOLLY
Dying retail giants – I met your assassin the other day. He was agile, swift, ready to please and motivated to attack your bottom line. I was shocked at his arrival on my door-step. A smiling assassin, dressed in black. I welcomed him in.
The slayer was the internet and you were a lazy target. I tried you first, labored for a day in the sales with jumbled merchandise, chaos and desperate sales staff. In the department store I stood like a beggar, shoes in hand, trying to get service. Uh, hello? Excuse me? I just need another size. Forget it. I’m not one for queues. I went home exhausted and without my heels.
Someone in their 20s suggested the obvious. The internet. So I searched online. Page after page of “turquoise shoes” were offered. I chose my favourites and clicked a button. It wasn’t my first foray into internet shopping, but the most surprising.
I chose an Australian e-retailer and expected poor service. (I’ll get to that later) I got the opposite. Exactly 90 minutes after clicking on “buy” there was a “rat-a-tat-tat” at the door and there he was.
The delivery guy was dressed in a crisp black shirt and pants. He was smiling. He presented my box of shoes with a flourish. They were wrapped in a big, black bow. Like Cinderella’s slipper they fit. An experience to delight any modern day Princess.