It was about six months into my first pregnancy that I finally confessed my greatest fear.
I was having dinner with a friend, already a mum-of-two, and she asked if I was excited for what was to come.
Excited wasn't quite the right word, I explained cautiously. Not quite right, that is, in the sense that I didn't feel excited at all, because I was entirely consumed with abject terror at the prospect. Being a mum, I had been led to believe, was really hard. And long. With no breaks. And no sleep. And no joy. And no light at the end of the tunnel for 18 long years.
"But you'd know all that already!" I said.
Watch: A spoken word video staring Laura Byrne articulating the contradiction of pressures that mothers face in their daily lives. Post continues after video.
Oddly enough, she didn't have the look I'd come to expect from other mothers when I discussed the impending birth of my baby (a sort of jaw-clenched 'yikes!' expression which clearly conveyed that, although I was making a horrible mistake, it was too late to back out so there wasn't really much they could do to help).
Instead, in almost a whisper, she leaned in and confessed her dirty little secret.
"I love being a mum." (Pause while I gathered my jaw off the floor).