Everything we've managed to uncover by stalking The Bachelorette contestants on Instagram.

Well, well, well.

If I haven’t spent approximately the last 57 hours stalking random attractive men on Instagram for… research. 

You see, tonight Ali Oetjen will meet 18 potential boyfriends in front of The Bachelorette mansion.

Most of them will be… white.

A fair few of them will be called… Daniel.

And at least one of them will end up locked up in a basement with Ali forever if Osher gets his way.

Anywho, as any serious investigative journalist would do, I stalked the fellas in question on Instagram to see whether I could determine who would be the front runners and who would be the, erm, poor souls who walk down the red carpet to clown music.

Here are my conclusions…

The front runners are all white men who look eerily similar yet none of them are called Daniel. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

1. Charlie Newling

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Roses are red????, my suit is blue????, All I can think, is will she choose you?????‍♂️ Tune in Wednesday @ 7.30pm on TEN to follow my journey for love on @bacheloretteau #bachelorette #bacheloretteparty #bachelor #love #rose #suit #ten

A post shared by Charlie (@charlienewling) on Oct 7, 2018 at 12:31am PDT

Charlie looks exactly like Sasha Mielczarek and Luke McLeod’s glorious bachie love child.

Based on his Instagram profile he seems to like keeping fit, travelling, and hanging out with cute doggos.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Last night and last snug with this little angel. ???????? we’ve bonded so strong in the last few weeks.! Never have I met a more spiritual, kind and loving creature in my life.! Going to miss you sweet-pea your one of a kind little baby willance. ❤️ #willow #puppylove #kingcharlescavalier #love #baby #walks #swims #chicken #shitsanywhereshewants #littlegirl #forthebaby #bestdogever

A post shared by Charlie (@charlienewling) on Jan 8, 2018 at 12:09am PST

2. Taite Radley

 

View this post on Instagram

 

“I guess you all know where I’ve been hiding now, Tune in Wednesday at 7:30pm to see me be a goose ” @bacheloretteau ????

A post shared by Taite Radley???? (@taiteadamradley) on Oct 6, 2018 at 6:24pm PDT

Taite is into “fitness” and “wellness” and Ali is a fitness/wellness influencer.

It could be a match made in influencer heaven.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Man’s Best Friend

A post shared by Taite Radley???? (@taiteadamradley) on Mar 3, 2018 at 10:09pm PST

3. Rob Colangelo

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Thus starts the adventure to find that one true forever love we all search for. To this saucy season of the bachelorette 2018 starting this Wednesday @ 7:30. #bacheloretteau

A post shared by Rob Colangelo (@rob_colangelo) on Oct 6, 2018 at 6:21pm PDT

Rob has a real job and he looks a little bit like Jake Ellis.

She could do a lot worse.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Family Weddings, always calls for a casual family photoshoot ????

A post shared by Rob Colangelo (@rob_colangelo) on Feb 16, 2018 at 5:12am PST

Here are the, erm, ones guaranteed to get some clown music action.

1. Todd King

 

View this post on Instagram

 

What do you call a knight too afraid to fight? Sir Render. ????????Watch me head into battle this Wednesday 7.30 on TEN @bacheloretteau #thebacheloretteau

A post shared by TODD GEOFFREY K????NG (@toddgking) on Oct 6, 2018 at 6:54pm PDT

Todd be dressed up as a knight for the red carpet.

He also describes himself a “dog dad” and a “wannabe athlete”. Todd possibly lives with his mother.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Guns, Tommy Guns ✂???? @tommygunsaus @__mshcrispin

A post shared by TODD GEOFFREY K????NG (@toddgking) on May 31, 2018 at 1:42am PDT

2. Chey Nei

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Want to see me rip into one of the biggest endeavours this wee Scott has ever been on for a better half, then check in to @bacheloretteau at 7:30 on Wednesday. #Bacheloretteau #longhairdontcare

A post shared by Chey Neigh (@chey_nei) on Oct 6, 2018 at 7:50pm PDT

Chey Nei wears a kilt and he also likes to pose with plants.

Occasionally he looks like a Sons of Anarchy cast member.

Chey is definitely going to be the contestant who will try to win Ali over with some fire-breathing and maybe also a rap.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

????????????A man among friends. #35mm by @xingerxanger ????????????

A post shared by Chey Neigh (@chey_nei) on Jan 5, 2018 at 4:26pm PST

3. Peter Stephen

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Feeling like Lance Stephenson in a Lakers jersey. Tune in Wednesday 7:30pm to @bacheloretteau on 10. A storm is coming ⛈

A post shared by Peter Stephen ???????????????? (@icecreampete) on Oct 6, 2018 at 6:08pm PDT

Peter’s Instagram bio reads: “Fast women and slow horses will ruin your life”.

That be all.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

????????????

A post shared by Peter Stephen ???????????????? (@icecreampete) on Feb 25, 2018 at 2:28am PST

4. Benny Adamson

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Cat’s out of the bag ???? I’m lucky enough to get a start on this season of The Bachelorette, Meow bout that? Wednesday 7:30pm on TEN #bacheloretteAU ????

A post shared by Benny Adamson (@benny_adamson) on Oct 6, 2018 at 6:30pm PDT

No.

Benny looks exactly like the Honey Badger and we’ve already seen that.

It’s… silly.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Night out with the bro, visiting all the way from Norfolk ????????????

A post shared by Benny Adamson (@benny_adamson) on Jun 4, 2018 at 4:15am PDT

The first episode of The Bachelorette airs on Channel Ten at 7.30pm tonight.