Well, well, well, looks like the Mamamia beauty writer has finally started.
In a statistic scientists are calling “exciting,” “game-changing” and “delicious on pancakes,” women use less than 10% of the beauty products they purchase because they’re not sure how to use them, or they use them incorrectly once and never touch them again.
Now, despite the fact that 100% of that statistic is made up, I think you’ll agree this information is scandalous, and definitely needs to be addressed.
And here I am! Scrawled pen on an envelope; ready to address.
First, let me introduce myself: I am your new beauty rascal, armed with (usually not even made up!) beauty facts and tip and tricks to make you feel confident and capable when it comes to your skin and hair and nails and even your ears, which need sunscreen and foundation too, you know.
I was the beauty director at Cosmopolitan and Harper’s BAZAAR magazines, and most recently, held a tyrannical editor-in-chief position at PRIMPED. I have never worked at Golfer’s Digest, despite those hurtful rumours.
I also wrote a beauty book called Amazing Face, which, to be honest, thieved all of my best tips and tricks, leaving me with only the following beauty tips to share with you here at Mamamia:
– Take a shower daily for less body odour!
– How to brush your hair!
– Don’t lick your lips because it will make them dry!
I’m kidding, you gorgeous, bright-eyed butternuts! I have literally thimbles full of exciting beauty tidbits that I will share with you weekly, like how to sneak into new season trends without spending a lot of money, or how to fool everyone into thinking you’re excellent at self-tanning, or how to make your hair look good when you have neither the time nor inclination to indulge it with attention.