

I’m pretty sure my brother hates me.
It was my son Philip’s 11th birthday, two years ago, on that dark dark day it all started.
Most family members had asked me what Philip might like as a gift and I happily suggested quiet, non-messy items that would please us both.
Listen to a story about the worst Christmas presents ever on This Glorious Mess.
My brother, who after acting all his life like I was one of his favourite people in the whole wide world, bought my son a Horror Makeup kit complete with black face paint and fake blood.
A passive-aggressive gift if I’ve ever seen one. And it made such an incredible mess. He used it in the bathroom and it seriously looked like a murder scene.
Why didn’t he just buy him a paintball gun? Or a toy with a repetitive song that would send me straight to the mad house?
Why not just walk into my house and fling paint everywhere, pausing only to hand me some spray cleaner and a cleaning cloth before strutting out the door?
When it comes to buying gifts for other people’s children there are unwritten rules to follow. All you need to do is use your head. Kinnetic Sand? You really want that scattered all over your already-really-busy friend’s house?
With Christmas fast approaching I feel it is my civic duty to clearly list the rules you should follow when it comes to buying gifts for other people’s kids.