'I laughed at the "bird theory" for relationships. But then I decided to put it to the test.'

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Months ago, while listening to the Hamish and Andy podcast, I chuckled as the comedians tested something called the "bird theory."

Basically, Hamish Blake and Andy Lee, told their respective partners they had spotted a bird earlier in the day, and waited to see how much interest they showed in the mundane story.

Explaining the rationale behind the theory, Hamish said: "How they respond is meant to be a barometer for how healthy their relationship is."

In other words, the more engaged with follow-up questions the partner is, the healthier the relationship is supposed to be.

The theory isn't just reserved for romantic relationships, either. The test can apply to friendships, families, even colleagues.

Watch: Hamish and Andy test the 'bird theory' for relationships. Post continues after video.

It was a fun theory, and made for great entertainment.

But, and no offence to the great philosophers Hamish and Andy, I didn't really take the latest social media test as gospel.

Well, shame on me. Because now, if my social media is anything to go by, it seems every man and his dog is swearing by the bird theory.

My TikTok page is filled with psychologists breaking down the science behind it, and couples trying it out on each other.

One video, by psychologist Dr Vanessa, which has amassed almost one million views, explains how the bird theory comes down to the idea of "bids for connection."

"This is an important element in any romantic relationship," the psychologist said. 

"Every time you share a little moment, something exciting about your day, something random, a funny meme, a thought that you just randomly had, you're actually saying to your partner, 'Hey, connect with me. Be with me in this moment. I want to share this moment just with you.'"

She continued: "When your partner actually turns towards you in these moments, even though they're small, they're significant because it builds trust, emotional safety, and closeness within your relationship."

The psychologist added that if the opposite happens, and if a partner ignores or minimises the moment, this can create distance in a relationship.

"It's not about the bird. It's about the moment, the effort, the connection," Dr Vanessa said. "In healthy relationships, love isn't just something that you say. It's something that you show in small ways over and over."

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But with maaaaany people testing the bird theory on their partners, the therapist warned that the experiment, while fun and interesting, "isn't about keeping score."

"Everyone misses some moments. We can't always be on and locked in and focused out of nowhere."

Of course, I was still sceptical. It seems that each other week there is a new relationship theory, test or law to unpack. It's no longer "feeling burnt out," it's the "April Theory." It's not just instantly clicking with someone, it's the "colour theory."

So, to test the grounds behind the bird theory, I reached out to psychologist Carly Dober.

What she shared was fascinating.

"I think, in itself, every now and then, if your partner doesn't respond to a bit for connection that's not necessarily bad thing," Dober told Mamamia.

"I think it's very common in all relationships, especially romantic relationships, where you spend much more time together and your partner might be thinking about work or their friends or whatever else is happening in their life."

The psychologist explained that a partner's lack of response "doesn't necessarily mean that anything is wrong" until it becomes a "longer and more frequent pattern of behaviour".

"If you [repeatedly] go 'Look, there's a bird' or 'Listen to what I did at work' or 'Here's something I'm excited about' and they just don't pay attention, they don't really care, that might be an indication that there's something fundamentally wrong in the relationship," she said.

"It doesn't always mean that they don't care about you," Dober clarified.

"They might be suffering from mental health issues or have some other significant life stress that is just dominating their life and their mind. However, if this is just them and how they value you as a person, the ''bird theory' stands to be correct."

So, there you have it, what I thought was a funny little theory may just have some merit after all.

Feature Image: Supplied.