Why can't we just talk to our parents? The generation gap affecting our mental health.

Thanks to our brand partner, Medibank

For many young Aussies, talking about mental health with their parents can feel as daunting as explaining why a TikTok went viral — generational gaps are real, and totally normal.

But despite the 'Okay Boomer' memes and occasional internal eyerolls, it turns out parents are the ones young people most want to open up to.

"Young people are telling us that their parents are the people they really want to talk to more than anybody about their mental health," said Dr Andrew Wilson, a psychiatrist and Medibank's Chief Medical Officer.

So, why is it so damn hard? The answer is both complicated and surprisingly hopeful.

With insight from both his clinical background and his role at Medibank, Dr Wilson had a unique perspective on what's getting in the way — and how we can finally break through. No 'therapy speak' required.

The state of our mental health.

Medibank's latest research with The Growth Distillery paints a sobering picture of the state of youth mental health. Almost 40 per cent of Gen Z report having below average mental health with Millennials following close behind at 36 per cent. Boomers appear to be faring best at only 16 per cent, with financial pressures a key cause of distress.

It's clear that currently Gen Z and Millennials are the most stressed-out generations, with almost a third of Gen Z in particular reporting stress and anxiety from 'doom scrolling' and social comparison online.

As Dr Wilson pointed out, "The rapid advancement of the digital age creates some great stuff... but there's no doubt that the immediacy of social media, particularly for young people, can be quite negative".

The communication gap.

"About two-thirds of 18 to 30-year-olds say they would find it hard to tell their parents they're having mental health challenges," said Dr Wilson. And yet, almost half say their parents are the number one relationship they wish they could talk to more, according to Medibank's research with The Growth Distillery.

With such a strong desire for connection, there is equally a fear of vulnerability and judgement that can stand in the way of these conversations taking place.

"The key things are really how do you do it? Am I going to be judged? Am I going to get negativity back from my parents?" said Dr Wilson of the kinds of barriers the younger generation come up against when considering opening up.

Different worlds under the same roof.

"This isn't a new problem," Dr Wilson pointed out.

And it's true — different generations have always struggled with communication, it's a normal part of the dynamic. But he does think the issue has become more pronounced and one key driver is mental health literacy.

"The older generation was really brought up in a time where there was much less awareness about mental health issues.

"Don't talk about it. Just get on with things, pull up your socks — all those stereotypes... particularly with men, that really was the way," Dr Wilson explained, though he was quick to point out, "it's not right or wrong, it's just the way it is".

"For young people, there's much more awareness, much more encouragement, much more visibility about mental health issues," he added, and these different generational experiences can create misunderstandings and communication barriers.

"The Medibank and the Growth Distillery research also highlights that only one in three parents have ever talked about their own mental health or their mental health issues, so they haven't modelled that kind of open communication."

The first line of support.

Despite the obvious challenges, Dr Wilson shared great faith in the family structure in tackling our mental health crisis.

"Families are still the epicentre of our support network and it's a huge opportunity to really improve our mental health," he said.

Medibank and the Growth Distillery's research shows that 40 per cent of Australians feel stressed at least once a week and 34 per cent are experiencing burnout — making it clear we need multiple lines of support. Having someone who truly sees you, especially a parent or caregiver, can be transformative when the first signs of struggle creep in.

Dr Wilson said this includes parents, family members, close friends and chosen family. But of course, there are times when professional support can be both helpful and necessary.

How to tackle difficult conversations.

There's no denying these conversations can be tough, and the hardest part is knowing when and where to have them.

Dr Wilson had three tips for making a start:

1. "It's about not making it something really heavy. A great way to have those conversations is over a meal or an activity like going for a walk. A lot of the time not having eye contact makes it easier for the other person to talk."

2. "Start with open-ended questions and open up the space, for example, 'how has work been lately?' as opposed to saying 'how's your mental health?'."

3. "It's about opening up the space and being prepared to listen more than talk."

Once the conversation gets going, it's important to focus on letting the person who needs support talk openly, without interruptions or judgement. Dr Wilson had some tips for keeping things on track:

• Resist the drive to focus on outcomes. "It's not necessarily thinking like it's a workout and you're going to get a specific result. It's actually about having a conversation and giving the person who's talking the chance to get it out."

• Simply listening without sharing commentary or advice. "You've really got to bite your tongue and not [give advice] even if you're itching to — it's probably not a good idea unless they ask for it."

• Keep the focus on them. "Giving judgemental comments or providing advice back — or even reflecting on your own experiences — that's making it about you, not about the other person."

Medibank is committed to supporting their health insurance members by offering 24/7 Mental Health Support where members can discuss any mental health questions over the phone or online with a mental health professional. "It's a really important backstop. Whether it's 2pm or 2am, we've got a group of professionals here to help with any mental health questions and get guidance on what to do next.

Warning signs that someone needs support.

"The most important [warning sign] is probably withdrawal... not interacting with friends, family or at school, university or work as much as they were," shared Dr Wilson, adding, "sleep disturbance is very important, often an early warning sign that something is not right".

"Normal activities, things like regular meals, clean clothes, showering, all those sorts of things which we often take for granted — if those aren't happening in the way they were, that would be another warning sign."

These conversations, while inarguably tough, can be life-altering and in some cases, lifesaving. Whether you're a parent or a young person, struggling or not, communication can be a key to catching something unspoken before it becomes too heavy to hold.

Head to Medibank's website to find out more about what they're doing to support mental health.

This information is general in nature and does not replace the advice of a healthcare professional. As with any medical condition, always seek health advice from a qualified healthcare professional.

If you or anyone you know needs to speak with an expert, please contact your GP or in Australia, contact Lifeline (13 11 14), Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) or Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636), all of which provide trained counsellors you can talk with 24/7.

To the extent permitted by law, MPL excludes all liability for any loss that may be sustained from acting on this information (subject to applicable consumer guarantees).

The Growth Distillery & Medibank, State of Mind: Australia's Mental Health Conversation 2025. Fieldwork conducted across metro and rural/regional areas in all Australian States and Territories, 11-25 February 2025, collecting 2,565 responses.

Feature Image: Getty.

Medibank is committed to improving the mental health of all Australians. Visit medibank.com.au/mental-health for information, support options and tips to have more meaningful mental health conversations.