DIARY OF A BIRTH: Trudy wanted a second baby, so she went on Facebook.

When Trudy, 44, found herself unable to carry her own child after a medical procedure, she never imagined that a casual coffee date would change her life.

"I nearly fell off my chair when she said, 'I want to be your surrogate,'" Trudy tells Mamamia's Diary of a Birth podcast.

Trudy met her partner Tom later in life, and knew their path to parenthood wouldn't be straightforward. The couple turned to surrogacy to make their dream of parenthood a reality. They welcomed their first child, Bonnie, with Tom's sister as the surrrogate in 2020. 

But when they longed for a sibling for their daughter, they decided to search for another surrogate. That's when they met Julie in a Facebook group.

Listen to Trudy and Judie's surrogacy story on Diary of a Birth. Post continues below.

Surrogacy in Australia is an altruistic act, meaning it's done without financial compensation. It's also a process filled with complex legal and emotional hurdles.

Trudy and Julie were determined to approach the experience with full transparency.

"We delved into all the topics… termination, birth plans, vaccinations, diet, exercise… what happens in pregnancy, birth and beyond," Trudy explains.

The process was particularly emotional as they had just one chance at success.

"At that stage, we only had one embryo, so we had one shot at it," Trudy shares.

"I was 44 and a half, so there was such a small chance of it being a normal embryo. And sure enough, I got one embryo. She was normal, and that was the one embryo we had to transfer to Jules."

After extensive counselling and legal steps, they reached the moment they had been hoping for: a positive pregnancy test.

"When Jules told us, you know, it was just immediate shock… it was complete disbelief," Trudy says.

Watch the trailer for Diary of a Birth. Post continues below.

A surrogacy birth.

Despite being a midwife, Julie found herself feeling the same uncertainty as any other labouring mother when contractions started.

"I messaged a friend saying, 'I don't know what to do with myself'," Julie recalls.

She was initially convinced she had hours to go. Little did she know, things were happening quickly.

"My poor daughter was feeling extremely overwhelmed. It was just the two of us here [at home]. She kept saying to me, 'I think it's time to go to hospital, Mum'," Julie says.

"The drive to the hospital was quite harrowing. It wasn't an enjoyable ride. I'm only five minutes from the hospital, but it was really… I think I've scared my daughter for life with that drive."

Tom and Trudy were excited to be there for Julie during the birth. Image: Supplied.

By the time they arrived, Trudy and Tom were already there, eagerly awaiting the moment their daughter would enter the world.

The emotions in the delivery room were overwhelming. 

"It's such a privilege to witness a surrogacy birth," Trudy says. "It's incredibly rare and deeply emotional."

Then, in an unforgettable moment, baby Lily entered the world still encased in the amniotic sac — a rare and breathtaking sight. 

"I saw this dark hair and then I saw her face, and she was still in the sack. It was the most incredible thing I've ever seen," Trudy recalls. 

"The midwife had to tear the sac open around her face... Water went everywhere, and in one contraction, she was out."

"The look on Julie's face was like, 'wow'. She looked gobsmacked that she'd done it, and I couldn't believe this baby was here, either, after everything that we've been through."

Julie, Trudy and Tom with little Lily. Image: Supplied.

A life-changing handover.

As joyous as Lily's arrival was, the moments afterwards took a frightening turn.

Julie began to haemorrhage, a complication that shifted the room's energy in an instant. 

"I looked at my midwife and said, 'I'm bleeding, aren't I?' and she just nodded," Julie recalls. 

In a touching display of trust and understanding, Julie asked to hold onto the baby while medical staff worked to stop the bleeding. 

As doctors got the situation under control, she remained focused on keeping Lily close.

"I remember telling Trudy and Tom, 'I'm just not ready to hand her over yet,' and they understood completely."

For 45 minutes, Julie held Lily skin-to-skin until she felt ready to complete the handover — a moment that was both symbolic and deeply personal. 

"I felt strongly that I needed to be the one to place her into her parents' arms," she says.

Bonnie with her baby sister, Lily. Image: Supplied.

For Trudy, that moment was beyond words. 

"It was a beautiful moment, because Jules literally just picked her up and handed her to me. And it's the most emotional moment, because I could not give birth to her, but she is genetically mine," she says.

"It's just that moment that we become parents again, thanks to the selflessness of our beautiful surrogate, Julie."

The fourth trimester looked a little different for this unique family. Julie continued to support Lily by providing breast milk, and Trudy was even able to induce lactation herself. 

Looking back on the experience, Trudy encourages others considering surrogacy to trust the process. For Julie, it was a journey of selflessness, strength, and an unbreakable bond.

For more stories from Diary of a Birth click here.

Feature image: Supplied.