'There's a conversation every parent is avoiding having with their kids. Here's how to start it.'

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Talking about suicide with children often makes parents feel anxious. However, we have a responsibility to have an open and supportive conversation with them, to provide them with facts, to answer their questions honestly, to follow up with them and offer open lines of communication.

Why? Because the research tells us that there is a global increase in teenage suicide.

There is a misconception that discussing suicide might encourage someone to consider it. As a result, many parents believe that avoiding the topic will prevent their children from learning about it. Both of these beliefs are incorrect.

Firstly, all evidence indicates that talking openly about suicide is a healthy way to understand it. The more we discuss it, the more aware we become, the better informed we are, and we can help reduce the stigma surrounding it.

Watch: An explanation of depression and how to recognise its signs in others. Post continues below.

Secondly, children listen to, and pick up, many things. If we inform, educate, and provide them with knowledge, then they develop a healthy and solid understanding of the facts. By avoiding discussion about suicide, we risk our children learning about it elsewhere.

While that may sometimes be a safe and helpful environment, it is not always the case.

It can involve whispers in the playground, misheard parts of conversations, or receiving incorrect or exaggerated information from peers or others or unreliable sources like social media.

Misinformation poses a danger to our children. Without factual information, their imaginations can lead them to fearful and anxiety-driven places.

It's common for parents and educators to state that talking about suicide at a school age is unsuitable and not age-appropriate.

But I know, from the many people I spoke with, that suicidal thoughts commonly occur during the early teenage years.

In my book, I interviewed a mother whose 12-year-old daughter died by suicide. I asked her about when she thought was the best time to talk to children about suicide.

Suzanna's daughter, Anna-May, was 12 when she died. When I asked Suzanna what age she thought we should teach our children about mental health and suicide, she was very clear.

"The earlier, the better."

As a suicidologist, I counsel people who have suicidal thoughts, who have attempted suicide and those who have lost loved ones to suicide. It is not unusual for me to speak to young people.

Debbie Swibel. Image: Supplied.

A few weeks ago, I counselled an 11-year-old girl whose best friend had died by suicide. Last month, I talked to a group of 13-year-old school children whose classmate had died by suicide.

Young people are dying by suicide. They are attempting suicide, and they are having suicidal thoughts.

If we talk to them, counsel them, teach them how to cope with their thoughts, how to cope with their lives, we have a chance of protecting them from suicide. If we don't talk to them, our numbers will continue to increase, which is not what we want.

I asked many people about suicidal education, because I believe that education and awareness are an antidote to suicidal behaviours.

Dr Stephen Spencer, co-founder of Equi Energy Youth and Rest In Essence, has studied for his PhD and nursed and assessed thousands of young people.

His extensive knowledge and experience offer valuable insights into the key areas of education that need to be addressed to effectively reduce suicide rates.

Our role as adults is to build capacity, coping, resilience, and distress tolerance skills. This is a really important developmental task. We need to prepare young people for adulthood. But that is only one side of the coin. The other side is help-seeking behaviours — positive help-seeking.

Adolescents will only reach out for help in difficult times if they've had the experience of helpful adults.

So how do we talk to our kids about suicide?

Emily is a child psychologist who works with young children. She believes in being as honest as possible with children and allowing them to ask questions.

It is important to emphasise that this is uncommon and that there are always ways to seek help.

The approach to take.

• Be open and honest.

• Be age appropriate.

• Non-judgmental.

The environment.

If we create a safe, calm and empathetic environment for them, it will encourage them to share their thoughts, and we want them to know that they are not alone and that it's okay to speak up when they are struggling.

I understand for many parents, that can be difficult or even impossible. I think that lack of education, fear, stigma and lived experience can make conversation about suicide challenging.

But with youth suicide rates increasing around the world, these conversations are too meaningful to avoid.

As a suicidologist and a parent, I firmly believe that talking to our children about suicide is one of the most crucial conversations that we may have with them.

Debbie Swibel is a suicidologist, counsellor, therapist, criminologist, and educator. Her book, Suicide: Hope Beyond the Darkness, is out now.

If you or anyone you know needs to speak with an expert, please contact your GP or in Australia, contact Lifeline (13 11 14), Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) or Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636), all of which provide trained counsellors you can talk with 24/7.

Feature Image: Getty. (Stock image for illustrative purposes only).