fashion

'I'm 58 and this is the style propaganda I'm no longer falling for.'

Like most women, I lived and breathed the makeover shows of the early 2000s.

Yet, as I played more with my own style and grew more confident in creating outfits that reflected 'me', I realised something big.

That not only were many of the rules problematic and linked to diet culture, they really didn't help us get clarity on how to dress. They just made it more confusing.

Rules and individual creativity just don't mix. They stifle intuition and reduce confidence because you're so worried about breaking a rule that you forget the true delight that comes from creating an outfit that you feel comfortable and confident in. 

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As a 58-year-old woman with (finally) balanced hormones — so, fewer f*cks to give and a deeper understanding of how I want to show up in the world — I've found I'm increasingly up against it when sharing my personal style online. And it's not coming from men.

I caveat "not all Gen X women", but there is a vocal and righteous corner of my generation on the internet who take great delight in telling me just what they think of my outfits.

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Sometimes I imagine them walking up to me on the street and shouting these thoughts at me, but mostly I feel empathy for them. They are just a product of the era we grew up in. 

Conversely, I've had so many women in my community thank me for giving them permission to dress as themselves, to wear a swimsuit, to wear shorts, to embrace a trend… and do so because they want to, not because someone told them they should or shouldn't.

On my recent birthday, I shared the style propaganda and "rules" that I'd love women to stop falling for. The only propaganda I am falling for — and wholeheartedly embrace — is this:

Wear what YOU love. 

The world would be a boring old place if we all dressed the same. Let's celebrate and be inspired by our style differences.

And to the women out there playing with their individual style on a daily basis? Keep showing up and bringing so much joy and inspiration.

Style propaganda and rules I'm no longer falling for:

1. Your age should dictate the way you dress.

Content creator and writer Nikki Parkinson wears demin/lace and draped dressNikki Parkinson in denim and lace and a plum draped dress. Image: Supplied.

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Style doesn't have a use-by date. Dress for your attitude; not your age.

These have long been my mantras. Spoiler alert: no-one comes along the day after a milestone birthday and tells you to step away from everything in your wardrobe that's served you so well in the previous decade.

2. The colour black "is ageing". 

Content Creator and writer Nikki Parkinson goes all black outfitNikki Parkinson, in a sleek black mini. Image: Supplied.

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I still remember the person who first told me that. I was 30 (*insert facepalm here).

She was an image consultant and no, I hadn't asked her opinion.

3. Only wear colours in your "season".

Content Creator and writer Nikki Parkinson wears colourful playsuit Nikki Parkinson, wearing a bold printed playsuit and bright colours balanced by nude heels. Image: Supplied.

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Is it fun to work out your colours? Of course. Is it helpful to carry around your wheel of swatches and only wear clothes from that selection? No.

Let's use our intuition and choose colours we actually love wearing — the ones that light us up? Hint: you probably already have lots of them hanging in your wardrobe. And yes, that's black for me, HA!

4. Only wear clothes that make you look smaller and show your waist. 

Content Creator and writer Nikki Parkinson wears longsleeves and wide leg pantsNikki Parkinson in oversized pieces that just 'work'. Image: Supplied.

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Diet culture, our patriarchal society and the makeover shows of the early 2000s have a lot to answer for. Repeat after me: you don't have to shrink yourself or create an illusion that you have through what you wear. Style is not size-dependent. 

5. The word "flattering".

Content Creator and writer Nikki Parkinson wears knit top and long skirtNikki Parkinson in an off-shoulder knit top, long skirt and tan handbag. Image: Supplied.

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Too often, flattering is used as a way to say what we're wearing makes us appear smaller. Outfits don't have to be "flattering" to create an interesting and elevated outfit. I love that Gen Z and younger millennials are inspiring us to do this. 

6. Fashion trends are solely for the young.

Content Creator and writer Nikki Parkinson wear smart casual outfitNikki Parkinson effortlessly blends a tank, wide-leg jeans and blazer. Image: Supplied.

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Please! Dipping our toes (and ageing bodies) into fashion trends is not try-hard or tragic (yes, I've been called both many a time). It's simply fun to play with them.

I'm not suggesting you embrace and buy into every trend, but selecting the ones that fit your style and personality and incorporating them into your existing wardrobe adds interest to your outfits.

7. Only young (and small) women should bare any skin.

Content Creator and writer Nikki Parkinson casual top and shorts outfit.Nikki Parkinson happily baring her skin in white shorts and a textured brown button-up. Image: Supplied.

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Apparently it's not classy if I dare to show my knees, shoulders, upper arms and legs. I'm a mid-sized woman living in Queensland. It's ridiculously humid and hot for most of the year. I will dare to bare whenever I bloody well want.

Let's all ditch the 'rules', please.

So, I invite us all to dispel the style "rules" — which I now call "myths" — we've been sold our entire adult lives.

They are myths that no longer serve us, and many are rooted in size-ist and ageist thinking.

They were made to make women desire to look smaller, to shrink us and make us think this was the only acceptable way to exist. They were made to make us stay in our 'age lane'.

And we don't need to stay in any lane.

Nikki Parkinson is a writer and content creator at Styling You. You can hear more from her on Instagram or Substack.

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