Dear strangers at traffic lights,
I can see you, picking your nose as we wait for the lights to change to green. You, over there, with the nose. And you, pretty lady in the pink jumper, I just caught you practicing your best duck face in the rear-view mirror, and I saw you inspecting that pimple on your forehead. As for you over there, handsome man with voluminous hair in the shiny new sports car to my right, I literally just witnessed you smell your own armpits. Yep, saw it all. Yep, even that moment where you winked at yourself in the mirror. Saw. It. All.
Just as an FYI, you should know that this post is sponsored by Nissan X-Trail. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100 per cent authentic and written in their own words.
I truly don’t get it. Why do you all behave as though your car is a private little moving box, where nobody else can see you? Why do you sit there cheerily getting on with your nose-picking, snot-flicking, pimple-inspecting, BO-checking behaviour like you’re invincible and invisible to the outside world? When actually you’re just treating all the other people sitting in their cars beside you to a creepy little glimpse into the state of your personal hygiene.
It’s not a parallel universe in there buddy, where you can get on with your deviant alone-time behaviour uninterrupted. That car of yours? Yeah, it’s not fitted with an invisibility cloak. It’s just a set of four wheels and fancy metals in a car shape, doing car things, getting you between the many venues of your life. Your windows, unless you’ve tinted them obnoxiously dark, are completely see-through. I can see you! And your pets! And your kids!
It’s not like I mean to look inside your car, or at your family, or into the minutiae of your everyday world. It’s just that when you’re stuck in traffic and you’re being sensible enough not to check your phone or flick wildly between radio stations… well, all you’ve got left to entertain you is the world right outside your window. Ain’t nobody got time for traffic, but when you’re stuck in bumper-to-bumper, or just chilling at the lights, you’ve got to find something worth looking at to pass the time.