Last week we met Emily O’Keefe and fell in love with her, her story and her writing. Emily is currently on baby making duty as she struggles to conceive. If you missed part one read it here. In part two Emily writes
Emily and her husband Gerard
I’m a big FAT COW…
“Sunday night Hubby and I are having dinner at our friends Emma and Roy’s home, whom we haven’t seen for a while, and we decide to share the BIG NEWS with our friends.
We have decided to breed.
Excited claps and back slapping ensues, even though we have yet to seal the deal, (not through lack of trying) we are treated with the exact same excitement as if I had just said I’m pregnant, having a boy and calling it Roy!
Anyway Em and I.. Yes two friends named Em means we are literally M and M. Kinda funny after a dozen coldies at a party, doesn’t seem so funny sharing here, bit lame actually…
BUT
Em and I start yibbering on about how exciting it will be, what do I want, boy or girl? What names do I fancy? Ovulation cycle blah blah blah… when I share my greatest fear of pregnancy.
‘UGH! , knowing my fat lovin’ absorbing genes, I am going to get SOOOOO HUGE!”
At this point Hubby and his bro-mate’s ears pricked up. Now it may have been because the last thing we had discussed before the fat statement was how humongous my gazongas would get, me already sporting an E cup, pretty sure I’ll be searching for a Z cup…
WHICH HE WON’T BE ABLE TO TOUCH BECAUSE THEY WILL FEEL LIKE THEY ARE ON FIRE!!.. ahem…
So hubby, getting a bit caught up with the conversation replies to my “I am going to get SOOOO HUGE with..
‘GOD YEAH, you will look like a HEIFER!”
But he wasn’t even kidding, there was not even a smidgen of sarcasm in his tone.
As he said it, the rewind sound effect screamed in my ear drum and he looked at me so innocently, like he had just said the most appropriate thing in the world. Like of course I was going to look like a HEIFER, like obviously duh!
Right at that moment I channelled my inner diva and spat out a
‘No you Di-ent!”
And Emma supported me with a
“Yes he DID!”
So I said..
‘You listen here MATE, just because I will eventually be lactating does not give you the right to compare me to a COW!’
And two days later he STILL doesn’t understand why our baby making has now hit a little snag…..
MOOOOOOO.”
and because we know you can’t wait till next week – another instalment. Emily writes
There’s A Little Thrill In Every One
A mother’s day gift
“I spent Mothers Day on the verge of tears.
Never did I full on cry, my eyes just welled up a little,many many times…
I’ll start at the end and end at the start…
The end is this. Mum, Dad, Hubby and I decided to walk the Mothers Day classic at Southbank for Breast Cancer.
Last year through work I met some amazing ladies who had survived or were battling this hideous disease. One of the survivors and a young mum, Ana, invited me along to support her and the cause, of course I said yes, and then dragged the whole family along.
Actually I didn’t drag them along, Mum lost a dear friend to breast cancer last year and when I suggested it, she jumped at the opportunity to walk for her…Dad and Hubby came along because we said so. Don’t judge, you KNOW that’s how it is.
So we duly dressed in pink, and got some fresh air among the sea of feathers, glitter and fairy wings, or the sea of Humanity as my Dad called it.
As we walked the 4.5km you couldn’t help but notice the signs pinned on the backs of Mothers, Daughters, Sons, Husbands, Grandparents and Children. They were signs of those who had lost loved ones from Breast Cancer. I defy anyone to not cry when you see a five year old with his dad and a sign pinned on his back “I’m walking for my Mum”. Sadly there were lots of little people wearing the same sign and every time I saw one, my eyes welled up.
The start of my day I wasn’t sure I should share with you. It relates to little people, and I had decided to shut my big fat gob about our baby making for a while, for fear it was boring you, and making me sound like a lunatic. But here goes anyway.
This month I was 3 days late and we got a tad excited, as I am never late. Seriously I am never late for ANYTHING. Not for dinner, not for appointments and not for my cycle, I am like clockwork. So you can understand our excitement.
Hubby seized the moment, and for that I love him, he is the sweetest man walking planet earth, and I say this because right now he is feeling a little bad. You see he bought me a Mothers day card and put a scratchie in it…
And I am not angry about the scratchie….although if that’s what I get when I am a mother, I sure as hell will be.
He gives me the card with a big smile, and on the front it says ‘’For a Great Mum’’.
Now at this stage I am thinking it is from our dog Libby, last year I got the same thing from her. Well from him obviously as dogs don’t have bank accounts, nor the need to buy stuff as we buy all the doggy crap for them, but it’s something sweet and dumb and until a real child decides to join us, she is as good as it gets. For anyone thinking of becoming a parent, get a puppy and see how you go with the 2am wake up and whine to be let out for a wee or a poop and then give me a treat for not doing it on the floor. She is very good practice for a baby, I think.
But as I opened the card and read what he had written, my eyes welled up for the second time that morning.
He wrote ‘Our baby will think you are a great mum’ and gives it to me with a big grin….talk about timing, right before he gave it to me I discovered I was NOT pregnant, but hadn’t the chance to tell him. My parents were up from Tassie staying with us and I didn’t want to announce it to everyone on Mother’s Day, when I was celebrating my Mum who gave me life and yet my body was not co-operating in helping me continue the tradition.
With no words, he knew the tears were not happy-you are so sweet tears, and he felt terrible.
So he just gave me a big hug and said, when you become a Mum you will be a GREAT MUM.
And you know what, I will be.
So I hugged him back, got over myself and I scratched that scratchie like I had never scratched a scratchie before………
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand let’s just say, right now I’m not sitting on my yacht in the Bahamas writing to you.
There’s a little thrill in everyone one! LIARS.”
Emily Jade O’Keefe is the female voice in The Cage Breakfast team in Brisbane on 104.5 Triple M. She also freelances for Channel 9 on Kerri-Anne, writes for the Courier Mail and on the weekends moonlights as a Marriage Celebrant.
