I didn’t go home for Thanksgiving. Instead, I spent the holiday with the new friends I’ve met in the last year. They’re people who mirror where I am in my life right now. They help me to visualise the next phase as well. I see where I want to be through them. We have a good time together, we support one another, and we call each other out.
At a critical point when I was transitioning to a new phase, I needed to be around people who I could be my flawed self around. I’m lucky to have found that.
Some people aren’t so blessed though.
There are relationships we find ourselves in where we have to wear masks. We can’t be our authentic selves. However, on the other side of things, there’s an immense burden of wanting to be the person who affects that type of change.
How many times have you encountered someone who would be great, “if only…”? You decide to take on the pressure of being someone’s saviour when they never asked you to be. Additionally, there are people who purposely seek out others as projects because it feeds their ego as a fixer. But thinking you can change someone is a selfish way to go through life and here’s why:
1) You can’t change someone who doesn’t believe they have a problem. The USA's president-elect is a prime example of this. I’ve found there’s no reasoning with people like Donald Trump. The level of narcissism and lack of self-awareness prevents them from seeing the character traits that make them awful human beings.