"Stop telling me you're a stay-at-home-mum."

You can no longer use your kids as an excuse.

I’ve spent a lot of my time in various parenting roles over the last 10 years.

I  stayed at home with my kids when they were young, I studied when they were toddlers, and I’ve worked since my youngest was 3.

There is one thing I haven’t done and that’s throw the term ‘stay-at-home-mum’ around when it is completely inappropriate. For instance, when you stay at home but your kids are in full time child care or full time school.

Yes, there are mothers that do this. Lots of mothers. Mothers who claim to be ‘stay-at-home-mums’ and yet their kids are in care or school full time.

Let's get something clear, shall we...

If you are a stay-at-home-mum you stay at home - WITH YOUR KIDS. If your kids are not at home and you are, you cannot claim to be a stay-at-home-mum. You are doing no mothering while you are home.

"Oh but I'm home with the kids in the afternoon," I hear the haters cry.

Well guess what? I work but I'm home by 3.30pm when the school bus arrives down the road. I do not claim I am a stay-at-home-mum simply because I am at home in the afternoons with my children.

If you are home during the day, and you have chosen to put your children in care full time or they are all at school, you are not a stay-at-home-mum, you are, quite simply, unemployed.

And while we're on the topic, why are you sending your kids to childcare full time if you are at home every single day anyway? Don't tell me your 12 month old needs 'socialisation' because I assure you that's not the case.

If you're claiming you need time out, then I'm not buying that either. If you need 5 days time out from parenting, you probably should have thought of that before you had them.

I work because I have to. I need childcare because I work. But you, the mothers taking up full time childcare spots so you can have extended coffee dates, you don't. You think it's more important to attend your hair appointments and massages than it is to spend time with your kids.

If you are staying home when all of your children at school, that's not being a stay-at-home-mum either. That's simply staying at home. Full stop.

And before you all get up in arms (wait, too late isn't it?) I HAVE been a stay-at-home-mum, I know what it's all about. And I also know there is no excuse for putting your child in care five days a week if you are home.

There is no excuse. Not one. Not for a full five days. One, maybe. Two if you absolutely have to. But five. That's just bad parenting.

If there are children at home then, and only then, are you a stay-at-home-mum. If there are no children at home and you are still staying home you are not a stay-at-home-mum, you are an unemployed adult. All working mums are mums in the afternoons, evenings and weekends too.

If you want to stay at home, and are fortunate enough to do so, that's great but don't go around spruiking how hard it is if you're home five days a week and your kids are no where to be seen.

From working mums everywhere - we're sick of it.

What do you think of mums who say they're stay-at-home-mums when all the kids are in care or at school?

Want more? Try:

“Don’t judge me but… I question my working mummy friend’s decision.”

15 reminders you’re a working mum.

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