true crime

She was the victim of the Stanford rapist and her letter went viral. Now "Emily Doe" writes to us again.

 The victim impact statement made by a young woman known only as ‘Emily Doe’ in the case of rapist and first-year Stanford student Brock Turner reverberated around the world.

It was shared millions of times, and when Turner was sentenced to just six months jail, outrage and shock led to a continued protest against the judge that presided over the case, Aaron Persky.

The statement struck a chord with women everywhere, but its author has not revealed herself or spoken about the experience until today.

Doe, preferring to remain anonymous, has now penned a letter for Glamour (the publication has named her one of its Women of the Year) where she reveals how the her statement going viral really affected her.

Stanford sexual assault case victim
'Emily Doe' has chosen to remain anonymous. Image via iStock. 
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It's powerful and full of the same super-smart insights and strength that came through in her original statement.

She writes:

"After the trial I was relieved thinking the hardest part was over, and all that was left was the sentencing. I was excited to finally be given a chance to read my statement and declare, I am here. I am not that floppy thing you found behind the garbage, speaking melted words. I am here, I can stand upright, I can speak clearly, I’ve been listening and am painfully aware of all the hurt you’ve been trying to justify.

"I yelled half of my statement. So when it was quickly announced that he’d be receiving six months, I was struck silent. Immediately I felt embarrassed for trying, for being led to believe I had any influence. The violation of my body and my being added up to a few months out of his summer. The judge would release him back to his life, back to the 40 people who had written him letters from Ohio. I began to panic; I thought, this can’t be the best case ­scenario. If this case was meant to set the bar, the bar had been set on the floor."

Stanford sexual assault case victim
"I am here, I can stand upright, I can speak clearly, I’ve been listening and am painfully aware of all the hurt you’ve been trying to justify." Image via iStock. 

After the verdict, Doe went home and settled in for some alone time, but was soon interrupted by a request from Buzzfeed to publish her statement. She said yes, and then shut her computer, not thinking too much about it.

She thought, 20,000 shares in, the momentum would soon wane. But it didn't.

"I started getting e-mails forwarded to me from Botswana to Ireland to India. I received watercolor paintings of lighthouses and bicycle earrings. A woman who plucked a picture of her young daughter from the inside of her cubicle wrote, This is who you’re saving.

"When I received an e-mail that Joe Biden had written me a letter I was sitting in my pajamas eating some cantaloupe. You are a warrior. I looked around my room, who is he talking to. You have a steel spine, I touched my spine. I printed his letter out and ran around the house flapping it in the air."

She writes of her shock and pride at the response.

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"When Ashleigh Banfield read my letter on the news I sat stunned watching her speak my words, imagining them being spoken on every television set in the nation. Watching women and men at Gracie Mansion, on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives, girls in their rooms, gathered together to read each segment, holding my words in their voices. My body seemed too small to hold what I felt."

And she directly addresses the woman who commented that she hoped her daughter didn't "end up" like Doe.

"As if we end somewhere, as if what was done to me marked the completion of my story. Instead of being a role model to be looked up to, I was a sad example to learn from, a story that caused you to shield your daughter’s eyes and shake your heads with pity. But when my letter was published, no one turned away. No one said I’d rather not look, it’s too much, or too sad. Everyone pushed through the hard parts, saw me fully to the end, and embraced every feeling."

Stanford sexual assault case victim
"No one said I’d rather not look, it’s too much, or too sad. Everyone pushed through the hard parts, saw me fully to the end, and embraced every feeling." Image via iStock. 

And finally, she has yet another articulate, strong message for us all:

"If you think the answer is that women need to be more sober, more civil, more upright, that girls must be better at exercising fear, must wear more layers with eyes open wider, we will go nowhere. When Judge Aaron Persky mutes the word justice, when Brock Turner serves one month for every felony, we go nowhere. When we all make it a priority to avoid harming or violating another human being, and when we hold accountable those who do, when the campaign to recall this judge declares that survivors deserve better, then we are going somewhere."

Never stop speaking up Emily Doe. We will never stop listening.

You can read her full letter here.

This post originally appeared on Spring.st.

Watch: Women share experiences of sexual violence on Twitter.

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