In 1996, Mel C told Victoria Beckham to f**k off. It was the beginning of a much bigger problem.

In February 1996, there was a buzz in the music industry about Virgin Records' new all-girl band, the Spice Girls. As part of their introduction to a wider audience, the record label invited the five young women to attend the Brit Awards in London, alongside superstars like Michael Jackson, David Bowie, and Take That. 

On an of the How to Fail podcast with Elizabeth Day, Melanie Chisholm, aka 'Mel C' or 'Sporty Spice', recalled that memorable night and how it nearly cost her a place in the band.

"It was very exciting, we were sitting with Lenny Kravitz on a great table, and in the '90s, the Brit Awards were very rock n roll," Chisholm laughed.

"We were having fun... drinking champagne and as we were leaving, feeling a bit tipsy, there was a little incident, nothing huge in my mind, but I told Victoria to 'f**k off.'"

The Spice Girls in 1997. Image: Getty. The next day, Chisholm's band mates told her it was unacceptable. The Spice Girls' then-manager, Simon Fuller, also had strong words for the then-22-year-old singer.

"I was threatened with being ousted from the band if any behaviour like that happened again. And we were just beginning this incredible journey... and the band meant everything to me, that it broke my heart. It really shook me – I had done something without realising it could be so destructive and I had lost control.

"So that was the moment I started to have issues with control. I needed to control myself; my behaviour, my weight, and the way I lived. It became really unhealthy."

It was during the same year that Chisholm experienced a sexual assault whilst on tour. She wrote about it for the first time in her memoir, Who I Am, My Story, and told podcast host Day how she initially buried the memory.

"It happened to me on the night before our very first Spice Girls' live show in Istanbul and we'd rehearsed for weeks. It leading towards the pinnacle of everything I ever wanted. So here we were on the eve of this show and I treat myself to a massage in the hotel. What happened to me I kind of buried immediately because there were other things to focus on and I didn't want to make a fuss. 

"So when I began to write my book, the memory came to me in a dream. Then I had to think – do I want to reveal this? But I felt it was important for me to say it and finally deal with and process it. The situation wasn't as bad as it could have been, but I felt violated, vulnerable, embarrassed and unsure.

"As I've got older and tried to overcome so many things, I have learnt to trust my instinct."

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By February 1997, and just a few months after that gig in Turkey, the Spice Girls returned to headline the Brit Awards with 'Ginger Spice' Geri Halliwell wearing the iconic British flag mini dress.

Just 12 months after launching the band, they had a number one album in 17 countries with their debut, Spice. It became one of the most successful albums of all time thanks to a stream of number one hits like 'Wannabe', 'Say You'll Be There', and 'Mama'. 

While outwardly the women took their message of 'Girl Power' to the masses, privately, Chisholm was struggling with fame. Her issues around self-control spiralled into an eating disorder.

"I was obsessed with making myself what I deemed to be 'perfect', to be worthy of being in the band and our success. It was really tough to deal with because I never felt I was perfect enough."

Chisholm says that while she has always been physically active, her years at a performing arts college as a teenager doing dance and classical ballet opened her up to body image issues.

"The dancing world is brutal and back then even more so. We were body shamed at college and told in front of the whole class if we needed to lose a few pounds. At the time I had friends that struggled with their eating, but it never affected me. It wasn't until I was in the band and the stakes were raised, that I started being very restrictive with my eating and doing more exercise to the point of obsession. 

"It went on for years and I wasn't eating enough. I became anorexic and my periods stopped. I always wanted to become a mum, and this was affecting my fertility but it was such a compulsion I couldn't stop."

The Spice Girls at the MTV Music Awards in 2000. Image: Getty. Chisholm's recovery was slow, and she later developed a binge eating disorder. She describes the cruelty of the toxic tabloid culture that contributed to her mental health issues.

"The language they used then to describe women was shocking. The press really began to criticise me at the point my issues got worse. They labelled me 'sumo spice'. But as a young person in the media at the time, the attitude was very much, 'Well you asked for this. You wanted to be famous, and this is what comes with it.' 

"I would be so uncomfortable in interviews but I felt like it was my duty to bare my soul to the media but I was vulnerable and incredibly ill.'"

In 2000, Chisholm spoke openly about her experiences with depression during a time when no one else was talking about mental health.

"I'm very proud that I did, but I wasn't ready. I had to give the media an excuse why I looked the way I did, but it was really a cry for help. I was tormented, but they still went on to criticise the way I looked and it's disgusting."

After going to a GP, getting therapy and trialling three different antidepressants, Chisholm says she went through a dark period before coming out the other side.

"There was a point where I wished I just wouldn't wake up in the morning. My spark had gone out and yet even in the depths there was a flicker of hope that pulled me through. I tell people this now because depression is such a lonely place and yet we are not alone. It's so important to reach out and get help."

After experiencing serious mental health issues and coming out the other side, the now-49-year-old singer, author and mum to 14-year-old daughter Scarlett said she feels like "a warrior". 

"I had so much guilt about failing myself and the public, but I got through it and I overcame it and I am proud of myself."

Chisholm said that while depression is something she still lives with, she knows the importance of balance and taking care of herself with good food, sleep and exercise. She also shared how she still cherishes the friendship with her fellow Spice Girls, who keep in touch on WhatsApp.

She says that despite the tough times, she wouldn't change a thing about her life now.

"When I talk about the tough times, there are things I wished I handled differently but if I had to do it all the same way again, I would because I love my life. 

"I was on stage recently and it p**sed down and I got soaked, as did the audience, but I felt so lucky to be up there doing what I love.

"I achieved my childhood ambition and dreams and I am still doing it, so I wouldn't change a thing." 

Laura Jackel is Mamamia's Family Writer. For links to her articles and to see photos of her outfits and kids, follow her on Instagram and  TikTok.

Feature image: Getty; Canva.

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